Archive for the ‘Crazy’ Category

I Want My Tuna in Balls!

Posted: May 5, 2013 in Crazy, Stories
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So this woman wanted a tuna sandwich. You know, everyday tuna on the bread with some vegetables. I scoop, I spread. Suddenly she flips her shit, waving her arms, pointing at the glass. Yeah, who knew drunken banshees loved tuna…in balls.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, she didn’t want her tuna spread like a normal human being would.

“I want my tuna in balls!” she cried. “In baaalllsss! That looks nasty, I don’t want it spread on dat bread. I want balls!”

And in the back of my head, dear readers, I think: You want a cucumber and a condom with that too?

-Var

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What Just Flew Past my Head? Bartender Story

Posted: May 3, 2013 in Crazy, Stories
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Hmm. On the first day working at a bar, I am walking in, and something goes flying past my head. As I am trying to figure out what it was, the day bartender begins to scream, “Greg, no fucking way! Not again, I am not even finding it this time!” What the fuck is it? Turns out there is a day regular that, when he feels he is not getting enough attention, whips out his glass eyeball and hucks it at the bartender.

-Greg

Crazy Monkey Kid

Posted: April 23, 2013 in Crazy, Stories
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I had a kid run up to me just the other day when I was working at round table. It grabbed my leg and tried to shimmy up it like a monkey on bath salts. The mother came over and ripped it off of me only to proclaim “Don’t you ever touch my child again or I’ll call the police” Lady, I swear to fucking christ…

-Jayme

Rapper The Game Tips Waiter $6,000 Cash!

Posted: April 7, 2013 in Celebrities, Crazy, Stories
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Rapper The Game posted this picture to his twitter this week. Supposedly The Game was feeling generous and tipped his waiter, Eme Ikwuakor, $6,000 dollars cash money! We don’t know if this is confirmed but that is a fat stack of cash and huge smile on Eme’s face. Game….sit in my section any time.

The Game Tips Waiter 6000 dollars

If you have any stories that are accompanied by a picture please email the story and picture to breakroomstories@gmail.com

I Don’t Let it Out Much

Posted: April 3, 2013 in Crazy, Stories
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I just had a child psychologist in my workplace with her 3 year old whom

A: she couldn’t “control” by means of scolding and idle threats and
B: told me she was gonna start him up on meds if he doesn’t start acting right. all of this after she told me that this was it’s first time outside in a week (it’s? this is your child)….speechless

-Ali

We are Educated

Posted: April 2, 2013 in Crazy, Stories
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Over 317,000 waiters and waitresses have college degrees (over 8,000 of them have doctoral or professional degrees), along with over 80,000 bartenders, and over 18,000 parking lot attendants. All told, some 17,000,000 Americans with college degrees are doing jobs that the BLS says require less than the skill levels associated with a bachelor’s degree.

-Jack

Serving on a Slow Sunday

Posted: January 27, 2013 in Crazy, Stories
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Of my 7ish table section I have the following:

A 2 top of foreigners who barely speak English let alone know what they ordered.
A 2 top at one of my 4 tops ( I have open 2s)
And a 6 top of children

Happy serving Sunday

- Ali

Old Men Singing at Tim Horton’s: When You Get Old You Can Do Whatever You Want?

Posted: January 17, 2013 in Crazy, Videos
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I Was Accused of Trying to Seduce a Married Man

Posted: January 8, 2013 in Crazy, Stories
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I work at a Texas-themed chain steakhouse in Kentucky. I had a customer send a three page letter to my manager accusing me of trying to seduce her husband while I waited on their table. She said I couldn’t keep my eyes off him and I kept touching him when I came to their table. It was such a ridiculous accusation that my managers could not believe it. If the customer had not included my name and an accurate (oddly flattering, WTF?) description of me, they would not have even discussed it with me.

I am not a people person and I am not a touchy-feely person. The incident had to have been 100% imagined on her part. I couldn’t even remember the couple in question. It was so weird and so scary to know that her insecurity and wild imagination could have gotten me fired if my managers didn’t trust that I was my usual frosty, introverted self.

-Kylie

Crazy Customer

Posted: November 3, 2012 in Crazy, Stories
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I worked at Tim Hortons. One day a 60 year old woman came into my line while I was working the cash register. I could tell something was off about her, and my suspicions were confirmed when she started telling me about her horrendous childhood. She took out her cell phone and showed me a picture of herself at 2 years old. Then proceeded to ask me if I “could abandon that little girl if I tried to.”
My co-workers and I are WTF-ing and we just get her the order and out of line. Then she comes back up when another customer is ordering, CUTS IN FRONT OF THEM and proceeds to tell me how her father molested her too. Luckily my manager saw what was going on and sent me to the back to wash dishes and he dealt with the woman. One of the saddest and most unexpected things I’ve ever experienced.

-Rick

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