Archive for the ‘Drunk’ Category

No Crying in The Club

Posted: May 12, 2013 in Drunk, Stories
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Guy was talking to his ex-girlfriend at the bar. He was crying, whining and begging for her to take him back. Loudly. From what I could tell, he didn’t cheat on her or anything, she just dumped him

She tells him, to his face, that maybe some day she will get back together with him, but she wants to be free and is probably going to have sex another guy that night, and points to a guy in a group she came with.

The guy starts crying, and saying “please don’t go home with that guy”, etc. The guy is literally begging.

She goes over to the guy she is going to fuck, and walks out with him while her ex boyfriend watches.

The dude just burst into tears. I felt so bad I did two shots with him and called him a cab.

-Jameson

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What’s Sign Language for Jager Bomb?

Posted: May 7, 2013 in Drunk, Stories
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I was bar-tending during the summer and an entire group came in and they were all deaf. They all wanted to do jagerbombs, apparently the sign for jager bombs is to put your hands up to your head as closed fists then open them up quickly to look like antlers…Now imagine 15 drunk deaf people doing the same thing…

-Tim

He Was Passed out in Backseat Still in His Uniform

Posted: May 6, 2013 in Drunk, Stories
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There is a bar within walking distance of our restaurant. It is kinda a habit/tradition to go there and drink after a long shift. Last night I closed with a co-worker and he was obliterated at the bar. The crazy thing was both of us had to open the next morning. On my way to work I pass his car (still in the same spot it was last night) with him passed out in the back seat still in his uniform. No joke I knock on the window, he gets out of the car, and walks into work with me. This dude is a barbarian I am speechless.

-Amanda

Then he Eats Shit Down the Stairs

Posted: April 6, 2013 in Drunk, Stories
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One of my first few nights working in a busy nightclub and a hockey game lets out. Everyone is already hammered coming in the door and we’re getting run over.

I run downstairs to an employee-only area to get some back stock, and I find this guy propped up against a wall, dick out, peeing all over our paper supply shelf (napkins, silverware wraps, towels, etcetera). I yell, “ARE YOU SERIOUS.” He looks up at me, dick still in his hand, and screams back “YEP.” He stuffs it in his pants and tries to bolt, but he’s so dunk that he eats shit down the stairs and knocks himself out. The paramedics had to take him out of there!

-Colin

She Claimed I Stabbed Her

Posted: April 4, 2013 in Drunk, Stories
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I had a drunk customer who could not pay her bill run off and call 911 claiming that I had stabbed her. My weapon of choice you ask? A sweet potato french fry. The reaction of the cop was truly priceless.

-Ben

Are You Kidding me Buddy?

Posted: April 4, 2013 in Drunk, Stories
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I once argued with a guy I had cut off for ten minutes that he was too drunk to stay. The reason? He had ordered one drink, gulped it down, and then puked everything in his belly up onto my bar. He then immediately forgot he had done this, and demanded to know where his drink was, argued with me that I had tossed it when he wasn’t looking, and that he hadn’t thrown up. I had to be like: “there is literally puke on the lapel of your coat right now. Look down.” He was stunned.

-Ian

Hungover

Posted: April 2, 2013 in Drunk, Stories
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Is it bad that I can’t remember the last shift I worked that I wasn’t hungover?

-Carly

Sign #1 That You Never Grew a Pair

Posted: March 28, 2013 in Drunk, Stories
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One of the funniest things I see as a female bartender is when men try to show how “manly” they are by drinking waaaay to much, and then puking…

REAL MANYLY OF YOU.

Anyway, I WISH I had been there to witness what happened last night, but I only heard from another coworker so I can’t be as detailed as I’d like to be.

Last night, a man came into our bar and had two shots of Maker’s Mark…paid his bill….and got drunk…

The man got drunk off of TWO SHOTS!…. and then proceeded to puke EVERYWHERE….and the ambulance was called.

Today, he came back in the restaurant because we had his credit card and went up to one of our bartenders, Angelic, who just happened to be the one serving him last night. He said, “Man… I don’t remember ANYTHING from last night. The last thing I clearly remember doing was signing my credit card receipt.”

Angelic: “Well, sir, you had two shots of Maker’s Mark, puked all over my bar, passed out, and then I had to call an ambulance for you.”

hahahahaahahahahahahaahhaahahahahahahahaa

Sign 1 that you never grew a pair…..

-Chelsea

We Know How to Party

Posted: March 17, 2013 in Drunk, Stories
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I am pretty sure 75% of the waiting staff at my restaurant today are drunker than the customers.

- Anthony

Champagne Sprinter

Posted: January 23, 2013 in Drunk, Stories
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I work at a fairly high end restaurant/bar somewhere in the “bible belt”. We close at midnight MON-FRI, and one a.m. on SAT. Everyone has fifteen minutes after we close to finish their last call drink before going home. I was walking along the patio once night and came upon a group of 4 young men left over from a fairly large party. One had a large bottle of champagne in his hand. I told him that I was sorry, but that it was twenty minutes past close, and I was going to have to take his drink. The young man– disheveled with tie unclipped and lose, with shirt half untucked– precedes to jump up and take off running, bottle in hand, chugging it as he runs. He makes a full lap around the patio before returning to me the empty bottle. Taking drinks is hard enough.. please don’t make me chase you down.

-Megan

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