I hate when as a food runner i’m holding very hot plates and the family of five has no idea what they ordered as i repeat “derp burger” four times. Meanwhile my flesh is burning away.
-Tavo
Archive for the ‘Dumb Customers’ Category
Please Remember What You Ordered
Posted: May 13, 2013 in Dumb Customers, StoriesTags: dumb customers, food, food runner, Humor, restaurants
Finger Snapping Glass Shakers
Posted: May 12, 2013 in Dumb Customers, StoriesTags: Dumb People, food service, Funny, Horrible Customers, Humor, restaurants, server stories, waiter stories
People who either snap their fingers at you or shake your glass or whistle….yes I see you over there. no I am not a dog. yes I will hate you forever.
-Kat
I Wouldn’t Pay This Much To F*@& Your Mother
Posted: May 9, 2013 in Dumb Customers, StoriesTags: food service, Funny, Horrible Customers, Humor, old lady, restaurants, server stories, waiter stories, WTF
I am a HOST. 3 Nights ago we were on a huuuuge wait like 2 and a half hours. People get real grouchy when they have been waiting that long to eat. after waiting an hour an old woman walked up to me and demanded that she be sat now because she had been waiting for over an hour. I explained that the wait was 2 and a half hours and that there were other guests in front of her. Then it happened…
This little old lady reached in her purse pulled out a nickel and said verbatim…. “i wouldn’t pay this much to fuck your mother!” then walked out….I am still speechless.
-Christina
Medium What!?
Posted: May 8, 2013 in Dumb Customers, StoriesTags: Dumb People, food, food drinks, food service, Horrible Customers, Humor, restaurants, server stories, waiter stories
I once had a guy complain that his steak wasn’t medium-rare enough. I had the chef cook a new one, making sure it was warm and pink in the center. I brought it back, and the guy said, “That’s worse than before. It’s still red!” What he meant to say was that he wanted his steak medium-WELL, not rare.
Idiot.
-Steve
Did You Just Throw a Spoon at Me?
Posted: May 4, 2013 in Dumb Customers, StoriesTags: Dumb People, food drinks, food service, Horrible Customers, restaurants, server stories, waiter stories
A lady once threw a tea-spoon at me because she wanted me to refill her iced tea.
However, she didn’t notice I had already filled her glass when I walked past her table. She must have been too busy horking down a veal parmesan the size of a hubcap in front of her.
When I walked up and asked her why she felt the need to throw a hard, metal object at me to get my attention, she said: “I need you to fill my…” (looks down) “…oh. You must ha– … huh… nevermind.”
As I was walking to get my manager, I heard her hiss at her husband, “No, I’m not going to apologize to A WAITER!”
-Mark
So You Don’t Send The Orders to The Kitchen Telepathically?
Posted: May 4, 2013 in Dumb Customers, StoriesTags: Disgusting, Dumb People, food service, Horrible Customers, Humor, restaurants, server stories, waiter stories
Large party of about 20 guests. I started taking orders at one end of the table and worked my way to the other end. By the time I finished getting all of the orders from this party (about 4 or 5 minutes, they were all somewhat indecisive) the first lady called me over and asked me how much longer the food would be. When I explained that I had only just finished taking her group’s order and would ring it in immediately so it would be about 15 minutes from that moment. She huffed at me and muttered “I knew we should have gone somewhere else.”
as if to ask, “What you mean you guys don’t send the orders to the kitchen telepathically so the Chefs start it the moment she finished ordering? SHOCKING!”
-Joe
Late Night Campers
Posted: April 30, 2013 in Dumb Customers, StoriesTags: bad tip, campers, dumb customers, food service, Humor, life, musings, opinion, waiter problems
I was the cocktail area closer the other night. Our signs all say we close at 9:30. My manager was walking to the door to lock it (right at 9:30. He is crazy punctual), when a trashy looking couple walks in. I was the last person on, so naturally it fell to me to serve them.
After greeting them, I told them “just so you know, our kitchen has been in the process of closing for a while now, so there might be some things that are unavailable, or that will take some time to make.” I expected them to order something quick and easy, like a pot pie.
Instead, I get this “Can I get a full rack of ribs with some fried shrimp, an order of croissants, a salad, a side of mashed potatoes, an order of onion rings (which by the way are hand breaded, fried, and then stacked 22 rings high), and a side of broccoli cheese casserole? And she’ll have the grilled chicken alfredo, a salad, and a side of corn.”
I finally left the restaurant at 11:30 (two hours after we close) after cleaning up their gigantic (mostly uneaten) mess. And the tip? Three dollars. On a $65 bill.
I love people. So. Fucking. Much.
-Derek
Besides You Can Afford to Let me Steal Crayons
Posted: April 12, 2013 in Dumb Customers, StoriesTags: breakroomstories, Dumb People, food service, Funny, Horrible Customers, Humor, restaurants, Stories, WTF
I am a host. At the host stand we have a bucket with crayons for little kids. On the way out of my restaurant a woman stopped at the host stand and started shoveling crayons into her purse. I said, “ma’am those are for children please stop stealing our crayons” she replied, ” Listen here missy don’t be tellin me what to do! besides you can afford to let me steal crayons” then she zipped up her giant purse and ran out of the restaurant. I was speechless.
-Samantha
We Need New Waters
Posted: April 9, 2013 in Dumb Customers, StoriesTags: dumb customers, Humor, waiter stories, work food service horror stories
Couple weeks ago, during dinner rush, a family of five come in and all ask for waters. Twenty minutes later, they all ask for new waters because, “these waters are too watered down.”
-Remi
We’ll Just Pretend Like That Wasn’t Your Fault
Posted: April 9, 2013 in Dumb Customers, StoriesTags: breakroomstories, food service, Funny, Horrible Customers, restaurants, Server, Stories, Waiter, WTF
Tonight at work I was standing next to one of my 2 top tables asking if their food had come out alright. The guy at the table went to grab a napkin that had two ramekins of honey mustard dressing on top of it. He pulled the napkin out too quickly and at just the right angle for the dressing to fly off the table and splatter all over me and the floor. He watched the whole thing happen and still had the audacity to smile and say “We’ll just pretend like that wasn’t your fault.”
-Talia
