Me: “Hey, how are you doing this evening?”
Customer: “Bud Light”
I’ve never felt “Bud Light” before, but it doesn’t sound pleasant.
-Tom
Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category
I Am Feeling Bud Light
Posted: May 16, 2013 in Funny, Stories, Top StoriesTags: breakroomstories, Dumb People, food, food drinks, food service, Funny, Horrible Customers, restaurants, Server, Stories, Waiter, WTF
Give Me a Lindsey Lohan
Posted: May 12, 2013 in Funny, StoriesTags: Bars, Bartender, cocktail, food drinks, Funny, Humor, Lindsey Lohan
Customer: “Give me a Lindsay Lohan”
Me: “What’s that?”
Customer: “A red-headed slut with a splash of Coke”
Me: “bahahahahahahaha”
-Chris
I Don’t Even Like Cheeseburgers!
Posted: May 6, 2013 in Funny, StoriesTags: bum, cheeseburgers, food service, Humor, waiters
Last night I witnessed a couple give their leftovers to a homeless man who subsequently opens the to-go box. Yells, “I dont even like cheese burgers!” Then flings the mostly intact cheeseburger at the generous couple and nails the guy right in the back of the head. I couldn’t tell if I was more shocked at the fact that the bum didn’t like cheeseburgers or that he had such good aim.
-Chris
Naomi From Waiting Should be Our New Mascot
Posted: May 4, 2013 in Funny, VideosTags: breakroomstories, Funny, Mad Waitress, restaurants, Server, Videos, Waiter, Waiting
Ooooo Yummm eeeemm That does sound good….
Embarrasing Fake Waiter Laugh
Posted: May 4, 2013 in Funny, StoriesTags: fake waiter laugh, food service, Funny, Humor, restaurants, server stories, waiter stories
You know that fake waiter laugh you use when a customer makes a joke that isn’t funny?? There is another server at my restaurant that literally sounds like some kind of dolphin having painful sex when she tries to fake waiter laugh…seriously she needs to stop.
-Dan
Funny Old Lady
Posted: May 3, 2013 in Funny, StoriesTags: Bars, Bartender, food drinks, food service, Funny, Humor
I used to bartend at a pizza place. One afternoon a middle aged couple came in with an old (80?) lady they referred to as Grandma. Grandma seemed a little confused and they talked to her like she was a child. The middle aged lady made a comment about being hungry and then Grandma says very loudly, “Have you ever been so hungry you could eat the ass out of a dead skunk?” I almost fell over behind the bar I was laughing so hard.
-Trevor
He Asked me to Run His Food
Posted: May 1, 2013 in Funny, StoriesTags: food drinks, food service, Funny, Humor, restaurants, running food, Server, server stories, Waiter, waiter stories, WTF
One of my buddies last shift was in the weeds, DEEP. He asked me to run his food for a party of 9. I said no problm. Shot over to the kitchen and grabbed the last three plates to finish their dinner drop. Its resturant policy to ask if the table needs anything, soooooo I drop the last plate and as the word come out of my mouth DOOOOO YOOOOOUUUU NEEEEE……..I see this table is a land mine, no silverware, empty drinks, empty bread, no condiments, its empty. I was running around getting these needy bitches odds and ends for an hour. Thanks pal.
-Carl
This Tastes Like my Butt Crack
Posted: April 30, 2013 in Funny, StoriesTags: butt crack, Dumb People, food drinks, food service, Horrible Customers, Humor, restaurants, server stories, WTF
Today I had a “Lady” send back her steak because quote, “This steak…tastes like my butt crack” On my way back to the kitchen all I could think about was how this woman knew what her butt Crack tastes like…
-Lindsey
HE RUNNIN HE RUNNIN!
Posted: April 30, 2013 in Stories, FunnyTags: Horrible Customers, Dumb People, restaurants, food drinks, food service, Humor, server stories, waiter stories, dine and dash, ghetto
I had a really ghetto couple at my table once when I was working at a mexican restaurant. I brought them the bill. It was only like 27$. The guy takes it, looks at it, says “I gotta go get my wallet out of my car.” I didn’t think anything about it since the woman didn’t move. I walk back to the register and she stands up faster than I thought she could move, and starts yelling “HE RUNNIN HE RUNNIN DAT MO’FUCKA LEAVIN!” and a whole slew of expletives.
The asshole got in his car and took off, leaving her there while she’s cussin up a storm, threw her chair down and spilled dishes all over the floor and shit. I run to the door and this fat bitch runs right by me, bowls me over (she had a good two-hundred pounds on me) and just takes off running after the car. It was probably the saddest/most hilarious thing I’ve seen. She didn’t make it far before she ran out of breath and just stood there waving a napkin in the air cursing. We called the cops and they picked up the man and we didn’t ask for payment or anything, since it was obviously in vain.
-Katie
Poor Choices Last Night
Posted: April 29, 2013 in Funny, StoriesTags: Children, food service, Humor, life, musings, poor choices last night, waitress stories
Ok so Sunday I had this family at a table. 5 little boys and their parents. The first four little boys all ordered soda, and then the last little boy ordered a water. While he was ordering his dad interrupted by sternly saying that he had made poor choices last night so he only gets water. Without missing a beat I looked him straight in the eye and said I completely understand, when I make poor choices I drink a lot of water the next day ;)
-Eve
