Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

Today I had a customer order a dish that comes with vegetables and mash potatoes. He asked if he could have an extra side of mashed potatoes and I informed him it would be $2.50 extra. With a heavy sigh, he agreed.

Did you think I could just give you extra food for free?

Anyway, the kitchen informs me that we are out of mashed potatoes and have cubed ones instead. I inform the man this and he goes BERZERK!

Man : WHAT!! Are you serious? You seriously don’t have mashed potatoes? How do you run out of mashed potatoes? Is this serious?

Me: Well sir, there are only 2 dishes on the menu that come with mashed potatoes, so they don’t prepare that much in the morning. If you like though we have the cubed potatoes, or could could do extra vegetables or pasta.

Man: But I want mashed potatoes!

Me: I’m really sorry sir, is there anything we can substitute instead?

Man: No, I want mashed potatotes and I won’t be happy unless I get them.

Me: I’m sorry sir.

He then gets up and walks out. After him and his wife already drank all their drink and ate their salads.

REDICKKK

- Sofia

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For some reason the dishwasher has started to turn its self on, while its still open. FML.

-Dave

Are fucking gross, that is all.

-Jenny

If I said everything I thought during one shift I would be fired 79 times.

-Jenny

So this guy comes in to the bar wearing the worst wig I’ve ever seen. Like blow dried road kill. His head looks like one of those organic eggs that still has a feather on it.

I try my best not to look at it, but it’s practically growling at me. I say ‘Hello’. I take his drink order. I make his drink. I ring it up on the register, and without even noticing I say to him, “Okay sir, would you like to pay now or to pay later.”

-Ross

I was a host for a busy seafood place and the waiters were dumb as rocks, so I used to mess with them all the time. One story sticks out:

Waitress: My customer wants to know where this fish is from?

Me: The Sea of Tranquility.

Waitress: Thanks!

Giggle, giggle, heel-spin, and she’s telling the table where its from.

*1 minute later*

Waitress: You are such a fucking asshole!

-Katie

Last night I had a couple at my table. Our restaurant serves a Vodka Shrimp Pasta. She “snaps” her fingers to signal me over to the table, then she orders our Vodka Shrimp Pasta and says, “lemme upgrade to Goose in that pasta.” (the sauce is just called Vodka sauce there is no booze in it) I said “no problem” rang in a chilled double shot of Grey Goose and drank the shot in the back of the restaurant. This smug lady said she loved the pasta! haha I loved my free shot of Grey Goose!

-Sarah

Once a customer wrote ‘shit food chef’ incredibly neatly in the sauce on his plate. I was amazed at the detail and symmetry of his lettering.

-Robert

Totally forgot to put on deodorant today annnnnnd I am working a double.

-Amber

You know that fake waiter laugh you use when a customer makes a joke that isn’t funny?? There is another server at my restaurant that literally sounds like some kind of dolphin having painful sex when she tries to fake waiter laugh…seriously she needs to stop.

-Dan