Archive for the ‘Revenge’ Category

Can I Just Say That People Who Work at Restaurants Are Not Your Slaves?

Posted: May 13, 2013 in Revenge, Stories
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

We are also not your servants. We sure as hell aren’t your dog and we are not your mother or your maid. I cannot stand when people have no manners, are rude, dirty or just have no idea how to conduct themselves in public.

Here’s a few general reminders for next time you go out to eat:

  • If you walk in and there is a hostess you can generally assume YOU DO NOT SEAT YOURSELF
  • Once said hostess seats you IT IS RUDE TO MOVE TABLES WITHOUT ASKING
  • Restaurants generally follow a seating rotation. That being said there is a reason you’re being sat where you are.
  • People make mistakes. Hostesses and waitresses are people too.
  • If you’re polite, I can almost guarantee your service will be 100x better.
  • Waiters and waitresses make about 2 dollars an hour: most of which they have to give back to the restaurant. TIP YOUR SERVER.
  • Say please and thank you. It honestly does make a difference.
  • If you’re going to request a table, don’t request one that you can obviously see is dirty.
  • A call ahead is different from a reservation.
  • If everyone in the restaurant can hear your conversation, YOU ARE TALKING TOO LOUD.
  • The menus are not place mats

-Miranda

About these ads

Fat Waiter Getting Revenge: From Road Trip the Movie

Posted: May 9, 2013 in Revenge, Videos
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Ooo…..pardon me….

Have FABULOUS Day Ma’am!

Posted: May 9, 2013 in Revenge, Stories
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I’m a hostess at a restaurant and we only take reservations for parties of 8 or larger. A lady walks in and tells me she has a reservation for 6. I tell her that we didnt have the reservation taken, but I am more than happy to get her a table immediately. Her husband decides to make a little joke, and his fat wife turns to him and shouts “hunny! dont make smart jokes infront of them…they are hostesses they dont understand smart things.” After that I’m already very annoyed, and i take her to a table. As a rule in our restaurant, we have to wait for the guest to take the menues from us, and we cant set them down on the table. So I am holding out the menu for this fat bitch and she looks at me, scoffs, and says “jesus christ do you know how to do your SIMPLE job?! put the menu on the damn table.” so i set it on the table and leave.
My manager comes over to see me fuming after what this lady said, and he approached the table and said “excuse me mam? we are going to have to ask you to leave our restaurant and never return. We dont allow people to harass our employees in such a way. Thank you.”
Gave her a big ol “have FABULOUS day ma’am.” with a smirk :)

-Frances

I Put Him in His Place

Posted: May 7, 2013 in Revenge, Stories
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I worked at a Chili’s while in college then I joined National Guard, in ROTC, and so forth…so basically I still had my name on the books in order to show up and take a shift when I had free time.

So there I am, working a weekend shift when this guy comes in and orders a burger with no mustard – We’re slammed, and the kitchen made a mistake – he’s got mustard on his burger. He calls me over. “You are an idiot. I said no mustard – there’s mustard on this burger. How hard is it not to put mustard on a burger?”

Ok, he’s a little hotheaded, but we did make a mistake. So I apologize, bring it back, tell the cooks I need one without mustard. A minute later they put it up, and I bring it back. I’m just walking away, when he stands up and yells, “Get back here, you stupid moron!”

Everyone stops and looks. I turned around with a look on my face that probably ought to have been a warning to any reasonable person- but then a reasonable person wouldn’t have hollered at a server for a kitchen’s mistake. We are not dealing with a reasonable individual, and he starts to shout, gesticulating furiously, putting his finger in my face.

“You god damn idiot, all you did was scrape the mustard off, and there’s still mustard on my god damn burger. What is wrong with you? Are you retard? You’re a goddamn moron, you dumb piece of shit!”

For a second I’m stunned. And then it comes to me – I literally do not have to take this. So I look him in the eye and I say, “Sir, I don’t know who you think you are, but you sure as Hell can’t talk to me like that. You sit down, pipe down, and act like a civilized human being. And if you raise your voice again, or curse again, or insult me one more time, I’m going to graphically demonstrate how ill-advised it is to abuse an Army ranger who the government has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars teaching how to do a vast array of truly nasty things to people less deserving and more capable of defending themselves than you, you pasty, pudgy, piece of shit.” Not another word from this asshole the rest of the meal.

-Steve

Never Seen a Double Chin Wobble So Hard

Posted: May 2, 2013 in Revenge, Stories
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m a chef that works at a casino (multiple food outlets) any ways one of the outlets is a buffet. We get some of the worst penny pinching people I have ever met in my entire life.

This one guy comes in every Saturday lunch with a group of lackeys. He is a short fat balding man who wears a god awful tupe. Any ways its a buffet as I mentioned and the food offerings change daily, nut without fail he will come up and request a heap of food we don’t have. Piss off all the waitresses and send his food back, or try to get it comped.

He also does this thing where he gets up and fills a plate of food to the absolute fucking top and then asks it to be wrapped in foil. So i pop out to my head chef and tell him whats going on and he says “oh hes been doing it for years apparently its for his son, who is sick.”

This guys been doing this for years YEARS. should of seen him the day they told him he had to stop taking free food home. Never seen a double chin wobble so hard.

-Caesar

Revenge!

Posted: April 29, 2013 in Revenge, Stories
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Recently, the pub I work at has a new policy about not allowing dogs on the patio, all because of one major douchebag in particular.  It is a busy Sunday, serving mimosas to all of the drunk asses who wander up and down Belmont Shore California, when this fool’s dog just throws up twice on the patio.  I come out with my hands full with 4 schooners when this guy says, “Hey my dog just threw up and you should clean it up before someone steps in it.” … Sure, sir, let me get right on that for you… NOT. So I come out with a pitcher of water and hand it to the guy.  He scoffs and says, “You want me to clean this up? YOU work here.”  Just as I was about to body slam him (I wish) some meat head steps in the throw up, and starts getting heated.  Lucky for me, this meat head is a regular and also a bartender at another place on the street, and he made sure the guy clean up the puke on the ground… and his own feet :D

-Diane

My Quit Story

Posted: April 3, 2013 in Revenge, Stories
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I lost it yesterday. I hated everything about my most recent serving position. Bad management, shitty tips, and tons of asshole customers. So when a snobby plastic bitch who is a well known shitty tipper gave me attitude yesterday I said this straight to her to her face

“Don’t ever treat people like you do and by the way you should have spent the money on your nose instead of your boobs.”

I quit that night and couldn’t be happier.

-Megan

A Little Video to Get You Through Your Shift: Quick And Evil April Fool’s Pranks

Posted: April 2, 2013 in Funny, Revenge, Videos
Tags: , ,

In case you missed April Fool’s Day:

Let me Just Change the Laws of Physics for You

Posted: March 26, 2013 in Revenge, Stories
Tags: , , , , , , ,

It was a slow Tuesday afternoon. There were 2 tables in the restaurant I work at. One of my table is an overweight solo diner and he orders a well done steak. I put the order in and 7 minutes later he calls me back over and says this:

Customer: “um excuse me….where the hell is my steak. I am like the only person here how could my food take so long!?”

I couldn’t believe the attitude this asshole threw my way! I only had 4 more shifts at this restaurant because I had another job lined up so I said this….

Me: “You ordered a well done steak 7 minutes ago, and a well done steak takes 18 to 20 minutes to cook all the way. Would you like me to walk my happy ass back to the kitchen and change the laws of physics to get your charcoal dusted brick that used to be a delicious piece of meat? I mean I wouldn’t expect you to understand, you clearly have extensive experience at McDonald’s where “food” magically takes 2 minutes to prepare, but here where we actually make food that doesn’t automatically give you diabetes, its going to take a little bit longer.”

I walked out never looked back.

-Chris

 

Great Joke…

Posted: March 24, 2013 in Revenge, Stories
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Wow! Your stupid joke about the menu was almost as funny as your tribal flame tattoo.

Dear asshole, please do everybody a favor and never talk again.

Thanks,

Society

-Jenny

Older Entries