Archive for the ‘Stories’ Category

Smart Phone Match Makers

Posted: June 19, 2013 in Stories
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I served 2 older ladies today. They asked me a bunch of personal questions and I played along cause I was trying to stack that tip. The last question they asked was, “are you single?” I said, “as single as it gets.” When I came back with the bill they said, “son, you’re 24 and you’re decently good looking, so we just took a picture of you and signed you up for a few dating sites and match sites, here’s the email we used.” They handed me a piece of paper that had an email…LongandStrong4441@gmail.com and a password for 3 dating sites…I was speechless.

-Mark

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He Always Does This!

Posted: June 19, 2013 in Stories
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I happened to be waitressing one evening when I large tourist family of seven sits down. Long story short, the father kept sending his food back insisting it wasn’t what he ordered. Then he demanded a free meal for his whole family. My boss came out, handled the shit out of the situation. But then the wife gets up crying, yelling that he always does this, and then flings her drink at her husband and storms off.

-Violet

Ima Look the Same Sittin’ Down

Posted: June 18, 2013 in Dumb Customers, Stories, Top Stories
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A “guest” walks up to the host stand with a plate of mostly eaten fries in her hand.

Woman: (rudely interrupting the hosts helping another guest) ‘Scuse me!! My waitress is “too busy” to come help our table
Host: What can we do for you, ma’am?
Woman: My fries is cold. I need new ones

Mind you, the woman was STILL chewing on fries

Host: (confused as to what to do) Well, let me find your server because we may need to charge you for a new side.
Woman: You ain’t charging me for no new fries!! These was cold. I ain’t satisfied

At this point, I step in to aid the obviously confused/annoyed hosts

Me: Ma’am, is there something I can help you with?
Woman: (again, rudely) She ALREADY helping me.
Me: Oh, well, why don’t you tell me where you are sitting and I can bring you a new plate of fresh, hot fries
Woman: I don’t know where the fuck my table is! I don’t know the number!!
Me: OK, well, how about you SHOW me where your table is so we can bring you those fries
Woman: You can come find me! Ima look the same sittin’ down!

-Tommy

AL’S Steak Sauce

Posted: June 18, 2013 in Dumb Customers, Stories
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I drop off two well done Filets…So can I get you anything else right now? Ya you can get getzz me some AL’s Steak Sauce. Sorry sir we only have our House Steak sauce and A1 Steak Sauce. Fine I’ll take those…I drop of the A1..So you did have AL’s… yikes…guess what the tip was like??

-Julia

Bartending at a Swim-up Bar in Vegas, Then I See it

Posted: June 18, 2013 in Embarrassing, Stories, Top Stories
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I found this site today and I love it! For your pleasure here is by far my best bartending story of my 12 year bartending career. I worked at a swim up bar at a pool party in Las Vegas for 3 filthy years. One raging Saturday afternoon I had a drunk chick sit at my bar for a good 3 hours. I learned that she had been dieting for this trip for 2 weeks drinking nothing but juice. She was pleasant and it was busy so I started pouring her shots on the house. 4 shots down I could tell she was wasted then I saw it…a merky cloud in the water behind her. At first I thought is was a spilled drink then she yelled “shit!” and booked it out of the pool. This broad shit in the pool right in front of me…a merky 2 week juice diet shit.

-Chad

Grumpy Customers

Posted: June 18, 2013 in Stories
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If you’re in a terrible mood, please just stay at home. I cannot fathom why people don’t at least try to have a good time when dining out.

-Everyone

Spicy?

Posted: June 17, 2013 in Stories
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Excuse me…how spicy is your spicy jambalaya? How am I supposed to know how to answer that question? Dumbass. Do you like white bread? Do you like a thick coat of mayonnaise? If you answered yes to those two questions and are concerned about the degree of spice in the SPICY jambalaya then order oatmeal and get out of my face with your stupid question.

-Sarah

Unforgivable!

Posted: June 17, 2013 in Stories
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I bartended for many years in NYC and have seen a plethora of lame pick-up attempts. By far the most sickening was this cheezy yuppie guy who used to work at Cantor and Fitzgerald but left a year before the towers fell. The months following 9/11, he would talk up girls and tell him his sob stories about surviving that day and the friends he lost. That crocodile even managed to bring tears to his eyes. I charged him double and when he would chat girls up, I’d walk down to that end of the bar and say things like, “You resigned over a year ago, right?” or “Dave, where exactly were you on 9-11?”. He wasn’t even in the state at the time. My favorite pastime was cockblocking him until he stopped coming to my bar. Unforgivable!

-Brad

Classic Bartender Equation

Posted: June 17, 2013 in Bartenders, Stories
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(6 single WOO Girls) + (47 sugary shooters) = me the bartender spending an extra hour after my shift cleaning up their puke

-Tom

Corona and What?

Posted: June 17, 2013 in Stories
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This guy just ordered a Corona with grenadine in it…wtf?

-Kat

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