Posts Tagged ‘Bad Tippers’

I used to work at restaurants as a college student making balloon animals for tips. Every group of exclusively women would ask for a penis of some variation. One woman asked for MY penis, not with words, but by fondling it while she delivered my $3 tip into my apron…

-Chad

I happened to be waitressing one evening when I large tourist family of seven sits down. Long story short, the father kept sending his food back insisting it wasn’t what he ordered. Then he demanded a free meal for his whole family. My boss came out, handled the shit out of the situation. But then the wife gets up crying, yelling that he always does this, and then flings her drink at her husband and storms off.

-Violet

An actual question:

“Ummmm excuse me miss! Does your artichoke dip have artichokes in it??”

***face palm***

-Danny

I work at a national chain restaurant. A woman came in with her three small, unruly children. I greet the table with a smile but before I am able to get anything out of my mouth she says: “I have 30 dollars. That’s all. You need to make sure that the bill isn’t over 30 dollars and we all need to eat and have ice cream.”

Ummm are you kidding me? How the hell is that MY responsibility?! Great, so I am clearly not getting a tip and now I have to do math on top of it. It ended up being one of the most difficult dinner/dessert service of my life (complete with MANY substitutions, send backs, and my manager having to comp due to her dissatisfaction) the bill came to $29.84…AND SHE HAD THE NERVE TO LEAVE THE CHANGE ON THE TABLE.

-Raleigh

Ugh I hate this conversation……

Customer: “uuuhh excuse me gurl, can I axe you a question?”

Me: “Yes ma’am?”

Customer: “If I was to be orderin my Long Island iced tea wif light ice dats means I get more alcohol rightttt?”

Me: (what I am thinking) “No you don’t get any more fucking alcohol you cheap asshole, and go tell all your ghetto friends that isn’t how it works anywhere on the fucking planet, we don’t just replace water with booze!”

(What I said) “No sorry ma’am the drink will be served in a smaller glass”

FML

-Brittany

I work at an upscale restaurant in a hotel. Last Friday night I had this couple come in clearly on a date. She looked ridiculous big fake boobs, big hair, pounds of make-up, designer bag clearly HIGH MAINTENCE. I introduce myself and step away from the table…when I do the “gentleman” comes up behind me and says, “Listen bro…she is going to order premium everything…Goose, Patron, mixed with Pellegrino and who knows what else…give her WELL everything none of that expensive sh!T…BUT TELL HER IT’S PREMIUM…I am paying the bill and I will hook you up,” I do it she doesn’t notice annnd this asshole tips 5%. Thanks BRO…

-Kyle

So this woman wanted a tuna sandwich. You know, everyday tuna on the bread with some vegetables. I scoop, I spread. Suddenly she flips her shit, waving her arms, pointing at the glass. Yeah, who knew drunken banshees loved tuna…in balls.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, she didn’t want her tuna spread like a normal human being would.

“I want my tuna in balls!” she cried. “In baaalllsss! That looks nasty, I don’t want it spread on dat bread. I want balls!”

And in the back of my head, dear readers, I think: You want a cucumber and a condom with that too?

-Var

I made a post about business lunches a couple of days ago. I got fed up! Today this pompous prick came in again, sat in my section again, and was a douche bag again. So when he paid with his credit card I came back to the table and said, “sorry sir but your card was declined.” He demanded that I try it again. To which I replied, “Sorry but I ran it 3 times.” He got super flustered and one of his associates picked up the tab. I hope he learned a lesson!

-Brad

Big family table comes in. Everything goes fine. Bill was probably $150 or so. The dad pays. I see him drop a $20 on the table. The family all gets up to leave. Last to leave? Mom. She gets up, watches everybody start heading for the door, picks up the $20, leaves a $5 instead.

-Lucy

TGI Fridays in Torrance, CA… Group of 9 come in.
Big Guy, “How many before you have to tip?”
Me – “I’m sorry?”
Big Guy, “The tip. How many people before you gotta tip?”
Me – “You mean auto-gratuity? We add 18% on parties of 8 or more.”
Big Guy (pointing to two friends) – “You fuckers are sitting by yourselves.”

-Rachel