Posts Tagged ‘creep’

About these ads

Me: “Will you be having dessert this evening?”

Old Man: “I was going to ask for sex but I assume that isn’t on the menu….is it?”

Me: “Just a minute, I’ll ask our 6’5″ chef Hugo if he’s got any in the back.”

-Kylie

Used to work at a quaint, family-owned seafood restaurant when I was a teenager. We sold fried corn, three pieces per order. If you wanted more, you better mention it and it’s gonna cost you extra.
Had a woman get a take out order and then drive back, screeching how she didn’t get all of her corn. I open her bag, there’s three pieces. I explain that it’s all there, no mistakes at all, and even offer to give her a free drink for her drive home. She proceeds to go batshit crazy inside the restaurant, demanding that we give her extra food for free because she thought the order came with more. Being extremely tiny and young, I was terrified.

My managers are willing to work with misunderstandings, but they threw that bitch out.

-Stephani

Our restaurant is super strict on ID ing people. I ask this foreigner for his ID and he says ok “American Girl” like that is supposed to be some intense insult….so I said yes I am an American girl and this patriot needs to see your passport or you can see yourself out of my bar. What an asshole.

-Shannon

Two older couples came in. For the sake of clarity, I will call the two women Nice Wife and Bitch Wife.

Bitch wife proceeded to drink Dewars on the rocks until she was extremely intoxicated. When she ordered her steak she asked me to have it cooked “blue.” She flipped out when I told her we didn’t do blue steaks and she instead ordered a very rare steak. Her husband ordered salmon. I was given very specific instructions on how to cook both entrees. Nice Husband and Nice Wife look mortified. Bitch Wife gets her food and promptly flips out because it’s not “blue,” even though she was totally clear on the fact that we didn’t do that at the restaurant. My manager, an experienced chef, goes out of his way to make the woman a damned blue steak and serves it to her himself. It is the third steak we have cooked for her. Bitch Wife lectures me for 10 minutes (I am not exaggerating) on what a terrible server I am, how the restaurant is a piece of shit, etc. She eats all of her steak and half of her husband’s salmon and complains that their food was inedible. She demands that their entrees be taken off their bill.

I am fuming at this point, but the manager still comps their meals. I take the check to the table for Nice Wife and Nice Husband to pay. I am lectured again about what terrible service I offered. After another 10 minutes of being scolded, I calmly told her that I understood she was upset, but that I didn’t prepare her food and had served her exactly what she ordered. Bitch Wife demands to see the manager who cooked her food. She also lectures him and says that she is a professional chef and is appalled at our inability to prepare a blue steak. Manager offers her a job at the restaurant since we obviously don’t know what I’m doing. Bitch Wife flies off the handle and storms out. Her husband follows meekly in her wake.
Nice Wife and Nice Husband leave me an immense tip. They’re so embarrassed by their friend’s behavior that they can barely look me in the eye. They leave and I start cleaning their table. Nice Wife comes back, presses an additional $20 into my hand, and whispers “I’m so sorry about the way she acted. If I’d known she would be that way I would have just fed her at my home… but she’s a chef and I don’t know how to cook.” She gives me a hug and leaves.

A few weeks later, Bitch Wife came back and got super drunk on Dewars on the rocks again. She ended up standing on her tiptoes screaming into the manager’s face in the middle of a packed dining room because there wasn’t cottage cheese on the salad bar. She was banned from the restaurant.

-Paloma

I was a barback for 3 months at a VERY up scale hotel/restaurant/bar a year ago. These people were astoundingly rich, we charged people $8 a beer (minimum) and $19 for a shot of Patron and they would order them by the dozen. They thought they were invincible.

I was working one evening and it was particularly busy and the service was incredibly slow, like a “wait 10 minutes for the bartender to even glance at you” slow. Anyways, a guy comes up to me asking for another drink. I explained to him that I could not serve him because I was only a barback (it was easy to mistake people because we all wore the same uniform). It was very loud and what I thought he said back was “Can you just get me a drink of water?” So, I filled a glass up with water and gave it to the gentleman (probably around 45ish and I was 20). He immediately started screaming at me “FUCK YOU I SAID MY DRINK TASTES LIKE WATER GIVE ME ANOTHER DRINK!!” and threw the glass behind the bar  hitting one of the female bartenders in the back of the head. All of the bartenders went silent and out of nowhere one of them climbs over the bar and tackles the guy that threw the drink. Security dragged that asshole out of the bar never to be seen again.

-Daniel

During my on the floor training (which i’ve recently finished), i went up to a table of two and introduced myself and my trainer. one of the people (both incredibly large women) asked my trainer “ooooh so can we spank him if he messes up?” without missing a beat my trainer responds with “that’s really up to him”…I watched them lick their lips…

-Carl

I bartended for many years in NYC and have seen a plethora of lame pick-up attempts. By far the most sickening was this cheezy yuppie guy who used to work at Cantor and Fitzgerald but left a year before the towers fell. The months following 9/11, he would talk up girls and tell him his sob stories about surviving that day and the friends he lost. That crocodile even managed to bring tears to his eyes.

I charged him double and when he would chat girls up, I’d walk down to that end of the bar and say things like, “You resigned over a year ago, right?” or “Dave, where exactly were you on 9-11?”. He wasn’t even in the state at the time. My favorite pastime was cockblocking him until he stopped coming to my bar. Unforgivable!

-Brad