Posts Tagged ‘Disgusting’

I used to work at restaurants as a college student making balloon animals for tips. Every group of exclusively women would ask for a penis of some variation. One woman asked for MY penis, not with words, but by fondling it while she delivered my $3 tip into my apron…

-Chad

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I happened to be waitressing one evening when I large tourist family of seven sits down. Long story short, the father kept sending his food back insisting it wasn’t what he ordered. Then he demanded a free meal for his whole family. My boss came out, handled the shit out of the situation. But then the wife gets up crying, yelling that he always does this, and then flings her drink at her husband and storms off.

-Violet

Last night I had the “pleasure” of waiting on a table of 8: granddad, grandma, aunts, husband, wife, all relatives. The husband & wife brought in their two screaming children ages 2-5. So they’re loud, their kids are loud, they are rude from the start, and they ignore me whenever I ask basic questions. Annnnnnnd they were encouraging them to yell and letting them run around through the galley where hot plates of food are sent out.

Beyond letting their spawn run wild, they fail to answer me or acknowledge me, or even look at me when I retrieve many of the items they asked for. I bring over some items to keep the kids satisfied, and the wife asks to have her kid’s food comped because she doesn’t like it. All some of my biggest pet peeves as a waitress, but I try to not let it get to me.

Fast forward 30 minutes, The wife bursts into tears and one of the aunts starts yelling across the table “I can’t believe you! You’re OUTTA LINE!” Frozen holding a food tray, I wonder if I should continue serving pasta while the yelling happens. The grandma tugs on my arm and assures me it’s not me, and not to worry about it. It continues.. “FINE, whatever, Susan. You are RIDICULOUS!” “Yeah? Am I? AM I?”

Every other table in the room is starting to fall silent. Next thing I know, a full on Talladega Nights-style family fight with tears and name calling has begun; the wife runs out of the restaurant in tears and the ancient grandpa looks like he is praying for death after his relatives’ lack of manners. “I’m so sorry about my horrible sister in law,” one of them says. “Uhh. It’s okay.” I say, not really sure what is going on anymore. The wife has fled outside crying to the place where we take our smoke breaks, and our other employees are starting to get confused.

But they don’t leave. They stay, for quite awhile, and continue to argue. I wait til they finally flag me down and I go to hand them their check – and yes, they are still arguing. “I already added the gratuity!” I remind them, as I hand the slip to the aunt. “Yeah, okay” they say as they sort of blow me off again.But the story has a happy ending. Hundred dollar check AFTER gratuity. They tipped me about 20 on top of that because they were too busy fighting.

DOUBLE TIP.

-Tara

I work at a national chain restaurant. A woman came in with her three small, unruly children. I greet the table with a smile but before I am able to get anything out of my mouth she says: “I have 30 dollars. That’s all. You need to make sure that the bill isn’t over 30 dollars and we all need to eat and have ice cream.”

Ummm are you kidding me? How the hell is that MY responsibility?! Great, so I am clearly not getting a tip and now I have to do math on top of it. It ended up being one of the most difficult dinner/dessert service of my life (complete with MANY substitutions, send backs, and my manager having to comp due to her dissatisfaction) the bill came to $29.84…AND SHE HAD THE NERVE TO LEAVE THE CHANGE ON THE TABLE.

-Raleigh

Tonight I witnessed someone eat a juicy medium rare bacon wrapped filet mignon with ketchup

*facepalm*

-Brandon

When working as a fast food manager, we changed our store hours from being open 24 hours to closing at midnight. The business just wasn’t there to stay open all night. I had a customer try to come through the drive through, my employee told him that we were closed, sorry. The guy proceeded to yell and scream at my employee and even threatened him.

He then pulled into a parking lot next door and got out of his truck and started throwing beer cans at my store. I then called the police, but could only get a partial plate number. Well, as it turned out he called our 800 number that was listed on the window to complain, I then had his phone number, address and name.

The cops tracked him down and I actually got an apology letter that was addressed from the county court office. They made him write an apology letter! Gotcha Sucka!

-Cheri

So this woman wanted a tuna sandwich. You know, everyday tuna on the bread with some vegetables. I scoop, I spread. Suddenly she flips her shit, waving her arms, pointing at the glass. Yeah, who knew drunken banshees loved tuna…in balls.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, she didn’t want her tuna spread like a normal human being would.

“I want my tuna in balls!” she cried. “In baaalllsss! That looks nasty, I don’t want it spread on dat bread. I want balls!”

And in the back of my head, dear readers, I think: You want a cucumber and a condom with that too?

-Var

I worked at an all night diner next to a string of bars. Once I had a drunk guy throw a hot plate of spaghetti at me and it hit its target, my face. I was so mad that while my face was blistering I didn’t even notice. I looked over at the manager and he just shot me one of those “Fuck it” looks. So I chased the guy out of the joint and down the street where he stumbled and fell to the ground face first knocking out a few of his front teeth and fucking up his lip pretty good. I wanted so badly to just beat the shit out of him but several of the regulars had followed us out into the street and stopped me before I could touch him. Definitely for the best. The guy ended up getting booked for whatever the label attached to being drunk and throwing hot spaghetti sauce onto a server and then running out on your check. Not to mention the medical bills that followed.

-Gregory

Do people take time to carve things into the toilet seats at your restaurant? Nothing says gangster like carving your gang symbol where people put their bare asses and take a shit? I guess that carving technique they learned in Shawshank State Penitentiary can finally reach the wide audience they dreamed about while sharpening shivs on Cell Block E. It’s finally happening for you homeboy.

-Jorge

I have been asked to fulfill the following requests by customers in the restaurant I work at:

“I need you to change your carpets. That pattern makes me feel like I dont want to eat anymore, which is a waste of your time”

“My 14 year old has a toothache, can he have a shot of vodka?”

“Can you please play this CD in your sound system? Its my boyfriend singing. There are only 2 really dirty songs on it that you can just skip”

Some people should not be allowed to reproduce

-Chris