Posts Tagged ‘drunk’

I watched from behind the bar as a WASTED little man was trying to pick a fight with a Marine on leave.

He turned to the little guy trying to piss him off and goes, “Look, I get it. I let you hit me, you look like a hero. I beat you up, I just look like an asshole.” Pause. “I’m not afraid to look like an asshole.”

The guy sunk back and didn’t bother him for the rest of the night.

-Mike

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There is a bar within walking distance of our restaurant. It is kinda a habit/tradition to go there and drink after a long shift. Last night I closed with a co-worker and he was obliterated at the bar. The crazy thing was both of us had to open the next morning. On my way to work I pass his car (still in the same spot it was last night) with him passed out in the back seat still in his uniform. No joke I knock on the window, he gets out of the car, and walks into work with me. This dude is a barbarian I am speechless.

-Amanda

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Hmm. On the first day working at a bar, I am walking in, and something goes flying past my head. As I am trying to figure out what it was, the day bartender begins to scream, “Greg, no fucking way! Not again, I am not even finding it this time!” What the fuck is it? Turns out there is a day regular that, when he feels he is not getting enough attention, whips out his glass eyeball and hucks it at the bartender.

-Greg

One of my first few nights working in a busy nightclub and a hockey game lets out. Everyone is already hammered coming in the door and we’re getting run over.

I run downstairs to an employee-only area to get some back stock, and I find this guy propped up against a wall, dick out, peeing all over our paper supply shelf (napkins, silverware wraps, towels, etcetera). I yell, “ARE YOU SERIOUS.” He looks up at me, dick still in his hand, and screams back “YEP.” He stuffs it in his pants and tries to bolt, but he’s so dunk that he eats shit down the stairs and knocks himself out. The paramedics had to take him out of there!

-Colin

I once argued with a guy I had cut off for ten minutes that he was too drunk to stay. The reason? He had ordered one drink, gulped it down, and then puked everything in his belly up onto my bar. He then immediately forgot he had done this, and demanded to know where his drink was, argued with me that I had tossed it when he wasn’t looking, and that he hadn’t thrown up. I had to be like: “there is literally puke on the lapel of your coat right now. Look down.” He was stunned.

-Ian

In honor of Spring Break here is a mash-up of party fails:

One of the funniest things I see as a female bartender is when men try to show how “manly” they are by drinking waaaay to much, and then puking…

REAL MANYLY OF YOU.

Anyway, I WISH I had been there to witness what happened last night, but I only heard from another coworker so I can’t be as detailed as I’d like to be.

Last night, a man came into our bar and had two shots of Maker’s Mark…paid his bill….and got drunk…

The man got drunk off of TWO SHOTS!…. and then proceeded to puke EVERYWHERE….and the ambulance was called.

Today, he came back in the restaurant because we had his credit card and went up to one of our bartenders, Angelic, who just happened to be the one serving him last night. He said, “Man… I don’t remember ANYTHING from last night. The last thing I clearly remember doing was signing my credit card receipt.”

Angelic: “Well, sir, you had two shots of Maker’s Mark, puked all over my bar, passed out, and then I had to call an ambulance for you.”

hahahahaahahahahahahaahhaahahahahahahahaa

Sign 1 that you never grew a pair…..

-Chelsea

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Man humps fries

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