How do you gracefully cut off your own mother when she has had too much to drink…Bartender problems.
I am pretty sure 75% of the waiting staff at my restaurant are going to be more drunk than their customers this Cinco de Mayo….
I worked at an all night diner next to a string of bars. Once I had a drunk guy throw a hot plate of spaghetti at me and it hit its target, my face. I was so mad that while my face was blistering I didn’t even notice. I looked over at the manager and he just shot me one of those “Fuck it” looks. So I chased the guy out of the joint and down the street where he stumbled and fell to the ground face first knocking out a few of his front teeth and fucking up his lip pretty good. I wanted so badly to just beat the shit out of him but several of the regulars had followed us out into the street and stopped me before I could touch him. Definitely for the best. The guy ended up getting booked for whatever the label attached to being drunk and throwing hot spaghetti sauce onto a server and then running out on your check. Not to mention the medical bills that followed.
A guy falls asleep at the bar, so I tell his friends that he has to go. They say no problem, but they need help getting him into the car. So I pick him up and basically carry him to their car, while the friend goes to the drivers side the guy sobers up enough to stand and looks me in the eye and asks “Is my dick hanging out?” I reluctantly look down and say “No” He says “Well it better be, cause I’m pissin’.”
His friends just put him in the car and come back inside and keep drinking. about two hours later “sleepy piss pants” comes back into the bar with asphalt burns all over his head, hands, arms. yelling about “Some black guys” that jumped him. We check the surveillance footage, and the “Black guys” ended up being the parking lot. He stumbled his way out of the vehicle onto the pavement and proceeded to fight the parking lot. He lost. We all won. I wish I had saved that footage.
I just cleaned up green puke amd its only 11:12 a.m.