Me: “Hey, how are you doing this evening?”
Customer: “Bud Light”
I’ve never felt “Bud Light” before, but it doesn’t sound pleasant.
-Tom
Posts Tagged ‘Dumb People’
I Am Feeling Bud Light
Posted: May 16, 2013 in Funny, Stories, Top StoriesTags: breakroomstories, Dumb People, food, food drinks, food service, Funny, Horrible Customers, restaurants, Server, Stories, Waiter, WTF
The Shitter Graffiti Artist
Posted: May 16, 2013 in Fights, Stories, Top StoriesTags: breakroomstories, creep, Disgusting, Dumb People, Horrible Customers, restaurants, Server, Stories, Waiter
Do people take time to carve things into the toilet seats at your restaurant? Nothing says gangster like carving your gang symbol where people put their bare asses and take a shit? I guess that carving technique they learned in Shawshank State Penitentiary can finally reach the wide audience they dreamed about while sharpening shivs on Cell Block E. It’s finally happening for you homeboy.
-Jorge
Dude I Was Almost Done
Posted: May 15, 2013 in StoriesTags: Bartender, breakroomstories, Disgusting, Dumb People, food service, Funny, Humor, restaurants, Server, Stories, Waiter, WTF
I’ve learned that some people think they are being discreet with sex in public, but really they’re just drunk and oblivious. I’ve also learned that there are others that simply do not give a shit, and will blatantly fuck anywhere.
One time there was an older couple, sitting at the bar, off in a corner by the wall. He looked really sleepy, and she was shaking a little bit and they weren’t talking much. At first I didn’t realize what was going on, and I thought they were just awkward as hell. Nope. Dude was getting a handy under the bar, and an extremely weird one apparently. He was just sitting there, head rolling around looking tired, while she furiously manhandled him, while trying to look around and play it cool.
I confront them: ”Hey folks, how you doing there? Can I get you anything? So where you from? Locals? Here on vacation? How do ya like it so far? When I approached they freaked out a little bit, and sat there looking at me, trying to make a coherent sentence. Eventually I told them, ”You may want to save that for later, we have cameras in here.”Lady looks embarrassed, and the guy says, “Dude I was almost done” Gross
-Brace
Powerful Looking Buttcheeks
Posted: May 15, 2013 in StoriesTags: breakroomstories, Dumb People, food service, Funny, Girls, Horrible Customers, Pick up lines, restaurants, Server, Stories, Waiter, WTF
The restaurant I work at forces us girls to wear spandex shorts. today a very very drunk man was apparently looking at my ass the entire time he was there. He stops me on the way to the bar and says, “hey hey I….just gots to say…gurl dyamm..dat asss…i mean your buttcheeks….shoot ah….you got some powerful looking buttcheeks ma’am…keep it up.” dude wtf does that mean!? Powerful looking buttcheeks? Should I be sad?
-Alexis
PEANUT CHICKEN
Posted: May 14, 2013 in StoriesTags: creep, Disgusting, Dumb People, food service, Horrible Customers, Humor, restaurants, Server, server stories, Waiter, waiter stories
Today takes the cake, I had a “gentleman” sit at my table and order the PEANUT CHICKEN. I drop off his dinner then fast forward 15 minutes, he flags me down obviously in distress clenching his throat. He asks if there were nuts in his dish…I say yes sir you did order the PEANUT CHICKEN. He screams at the top of his lungs, “I AM ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS YOU ASSHOLE WAITER!” Then kinda starts choking. At first I expected Ashton Kutcher to run out of the back and tell me I just got punked but this guy was serious. Fast forward to the paramedics getting called and him taking a ride to the hospital. It is hard for me to believe that this man has managed to stay alive this long…what kind of jerk orders the peanut chicken with a serious allergy to nuts!? He got what he deserved for talking to me the way he did! Sorry not Sorry
-Mike
Ranch Does Not Go With Everything
Posted: May 14, 2013 in StoriesTags: Disgusting, Dumb People, food service, Funny, Humor, restaurants, Server, server stories, Waiter, waiter stories, WTF
I work at a chain Italian restaurant. This guy orders chicken Alfredo and a side of ranch. I am assuming the ranch is for the little tiny piece of salad he is working on, so I put in the order and grab his side of ranch. It sits there till I drop the chicken Alfredo. This psycho grabs the side of ranch and dumps it into his chicken Alfredo, stirs it up, and takes a giant bite! Grossssss!
-Tiffany
Can I Just Say That People Who Work at Restaurants Are Not Your Slaves?
Posted: May 13, 2013 in Revenge, StoriesTags: breakroomstories, Disgusting, Dumb People, food drinks, food service, Funny, Horrible Customers, Humor, restaurants, server stories, waiter stories, WTF
We are also not your servants. We sure as hell aren’t your dog and we are not your mother or your maid. I cannot stand when people have no manners, are rude, dirty or just have no idea how to conduct themselves in public.
Here’s a few general reminders for next time you go out to eat:
- If you walk in and there is a hostess you can generally assume YOU DO NOT SEAT YOURSELF
- Once said hostess seats you IT IS RUDE TO MOVE TABLES WITHOUT ASKING
- Restaurants generally follow a seating rotation. That being said there is a reason you’re being sat where you are.
- People make mistakes. Hostesses and waitresses are people too.
- If you’re polite, I can almost guarantee your service will be 100x better.
- Waiters and waitresses make about 2 dollars an hour: most of which they have to give back to the restaurant. TIP YOUR SERVER.
- Say please and thank you. It honestly does make a difference.
- If you’re going to request a table, don’t request one that you can obviously see is dirty.
- A call ahead is different from a reservation.
- If everyone in the restaurant can hear your conversation, YOU ARE TALKING TOO LOUD.
- The menus are not place mats
-Miranda
No Crying in The Club
Posted: May 12, 2013 in Drunk, StoriesTags: Bars, Bartender, brake up, Drunk Girls, Dumb People, food drinks, Funny, Humor
Guy was talking to his ex-girlfriend at the bar. He was crying, whining and begging for her to take him back. Loudly. From what I could tell, he didn’t cheat on her or anything, she just dumped him
She tells him, to his face, that maybe some day she will get back together with him, but she wants to be free and is probably going to have sex another guy that night, and points to a guy in a group she came with.
The guy starts crying, and saying “please don’t go home with that guy”, etc. The guy is literally begging.
She goes over to the guy she is going to fuck, and walks out with him while her ex boyfriend watches.
The dude just burst into tears. I felt so bad I did two shots with him and called him a cab.
-Jameson
Finger Snapping Glass Shakers
Posted: May 12, 2013 in Dumb Customers, StoriesTags: Dumb People, food service, Funny, Horrible Customers, Humor, restaurants, server stories, waiter stories
People who either snap their fingers at you or shake your glass or whistle….yes I see you over there. no I am not a dog. yes I will hate you forever.
-Kat
I Could Literally Hear Them Getting Diabetes
Posted: May 9, 2013 in StoriesTags: Disgusting, Dumb People, food, food drinks, food service, Funny, Horrible Customers, Humor, restaurants, server stories, waiter stories
I worked a Bob Evans which is like…. IHOP for mostly old and fat people. One overweight family came in constantly (mom, dad, son and daughter both between 10-12 years old). One day, they all got side salads and extra ranch and extra extra extra bacon bits and croutons. Piles of both. Dad and son then ordered bacon cheeseburgers. Lots of bacon so far. Mom and daughter ordered something similar.
So I come to the table after dinner: Any desserts tonight? Mom orders some pie, dad orders a chocolate sundae. The son turns to his mom. “Mama can I have bacon for dessert?” Sure, son! The daughter’s turn. “I want croutons!!” Sure, honey. So I come back with pie, ice cream, a plate of bacon and a bowl of croutons, I could literally hear them getting diabetes.
-Tavo
