Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

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“My roast beef tastes too much like beef”…actual complaint, uh sir are you fucking kidding me, It will never cease to amaze me how dumb some people can be.

-Toni

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We had a two top and initially we thought it was a date. Would have been the worst date ever though because the girl was on her phone the whole time. This is before smart phones mind you. She was just texting and talking to friends the whole time and didn’t give a second of attention to her companion.

He finishes up and excuses himself from the table for a moment and walks out into the lobby. He tells the hostess that that was his roommate with whom he’d made plans several day before to come out for a nice dinner. But since she treated him like he wasn’t there, he decided that she could pay the bill and find her own way home. Then he walked out the door and left.

-John

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MY guests order some sort of drink from the bar. I always bring waters to my guests while I wait for their drinks. I bring the lady a water and she says “sir, this drink has no flavor”. while holding back my laughter I respond, “ma’am, that’s because it is water. it’s not supposed to have flavor”. the rest of the table busts out laughing, I kept my composure until I went to the bar. lol. you cant make this shit up.

-Candice

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Don’t be vague. When you say, “I want a beer,” and I ask you what kind, don’t just say “the good kind.” I don’t know if you mean Bud Light or Blue Moon or Zipline Oatmeal Stout or Lucky Bucket Peach Wheat or WHAT. Don’t make us guess. If it’s up to me you get a framboise because I think its funny to say : )

-Tiffany

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