Posts Tagged ‘Revenge’

I made a post about business lunches a couple of days ago. I got fed up! Today this pompous prick came in again, sat in my section again, and was a douche bag again. So when he paid with his credit card I came back to the table and said, “sorry sir but your card was declined.” He demanded that I try it again. To which I replied, “Sorry but I ran it 3 times.” He got super flustered and one of his associates picked up the tab. I hope he learned a lesson!

-Brad

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Last night I had a couple at my table. Our restaurant serves a Vodka Shrimp Pasta. She “snaps” her fingers to signal me over to the table, then she orders our Vodka Shrimp Pasta and says, “lemme upgrade to Goose in that pasta.” (the sauce is just called Vodka sauce there is no booze in it) I said “no problem” rang in a chilled double shot of Grey Goose and drank the shot in the back of the restaurant. This smug lady said she loved the pasta! haha I loved my free shot of Grey Goose!

-Sarah

Today a women sat at my table alone. After asking about every single drink on our menu she asked me how our roast beef sandwich was cut. To lighten the mood I said, “with a knife.” She said without the slightest smile, “no no no how is it cut?” I said, “in half.” She replied, “NO NO NO! How is it cut!?” At this point I could tell she had no soul, so I said, “the sandwich is cut at a diagonal angle.” She replied, “uhhh I hate that…. I want the sandwich but I want it cut in half perpendicular NOT diagonal.” She shoved the menu at me and I walked away. I didn’t ring in the cutting instructions on purpose to see if this tyrannosaurus would send it back. Of course she sent it back. See lady this is why you are eating alone…you are in fact a miserable excuse for a human being.

-Makena

I bartended for many years in NYC and have seen a plethora of lame pick-up attempts. By far the most sickening was this cheezy yuppie guy who used to work at Cantor and Fitzgerald but left a year before the towers fell. The months following 9/11, he would talk up girls and tell him his sob stories about surviving that day and the friends he lost. That crocodile even managed to bring tears to his eyes.

I charged him double and when he would chat girls up, I’d walk down to that end of the bar and say things like, “You resigned over a year ago, right?” or “Dave, where exactly were you on 9-11?”. He wasn’t even in the state at the time. My favorite pastime was cockblocking him until he stopped coming to my bar. Unforgivable!

-Brad

A guy came in to eat with his family (a little girl and his pregnant wife). They were really really friendly and at first I thought it was a great table. The wife went to the bathroom and the guy asked for the check, and on the check he wrote his phone number in the tip area along with “call me baby”. I ran his card, waited until his wife came back, and brought over the guy’s card and his receipt. I handed the receipt to the pregnant woman and told her something was wrong with the tip. She got SUPER upset and I got in a lot of trouble with my managers for stirring shit.

-Rebecca

Worked at a Mexican place that gave free chips and salsa out. Lady’s meal arrives after she plowed through 3 bowls of salsa and 4 baskets of chips. She ordered cheese enchiladas. She see’s a piece of onion in the cheese, and demands we remake it.

I say no problem and have the chef remake it. When I drop it off she starts yelling about how she’s allergic to onions, and how stupid I am, and she’s also not paying. Once she shut up, I asked if I should call an ambulance because she just ate a ton of onions via the 3 bowls of salsa she had eaten. Back pedaling, she says she didn’t see any onions in there. I stand firm and ask her again if I should call 911 for an allergic reaction. I think she knew she was caught lying, and suddenly got quiet and was a little nicer.

-Brandon


Ooo…..pardon me….

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Can you please escort these two ladies….back to plastic surgery

I worked at an all night diner next to a string of bars. Once I had a drunk guy throw a hot plate of spaghetti at me and it hit its target, my face. I was so mad that while my face was blistering I didn’t even notice. I looked over at the manager and he just shot me one of those “Fuck it” looks. So I chased the guy out of the joint and down the street where he stumbled and fell to the ground face first knocking out a few of his front teeth and fucking up his lip pretty good. I wanted so badly to just beat the shit out of him but several of the regulars had followed us out into the street and stopped me before I could touch him. Definitely for the best. The guy ended up getting booked for whatever the label attached to being drunk and throwing hot spaghetti sauce onto a server and then running out on your check. Not to mention the medical bills that followed.

-Gregory