Posts Tagged ‘server stories’

I am a host and its my job to make sure the restroom is clean. Today a man walks to the counter and tells me the bathroom is dirty. I walk into the bathroom and there is a pair of tighty whitys with a GIANT shit stain on them sitting right next to the toilet…. awesome.

-Trevor

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Breakfast server here: Today two broke ass looking girls got sat at my table. I grab the coffee pot assuming these ratchets are going to need some caffeine. As I approach the table mess #1 says to mess #2 “I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?” I tried so hard not to laugh as I asked if they wanted coffee.

-John

Me: “Will you be having dessert this evening?”

Old Man: “I was going to ask for sex but I assume that isn’t on the menu….is it?”

Me: “Just a minute, I’ll ask our 6’5″ chef Hugo if he’s got any in the back.”

-Kylie

I had a lady complain that her salad was too cold, and now she had to let it sit and warm up before she could eat it. WTF!?

-Bert

If I said everything I thought during one shift I would be fired 79 times.

-Jenny

Big family table comes in. Everything goes fine. Bill was probably $150 or so. The dad pays. I see him drop a $20 on the table. The family all gets up to leave. Last to leave? Mom. She gets up, watches everybody start heading for the door, picks up the $20, leaves a $5 instead.

-Lucy

I just watched a lady pour like 20 Splednda packets into her iced tea then ask me for, “more Splenda….Like alot more….”

-Barbie

TGI Fridays in Torrance, CA… Group of 9 come in.
Big Guy, “How many before you have to tip?”
Me – “I’m sorry?”
Big Guy, “The tip. How many people before you gotta tip?”
Me – “You mean auto-gratuity? We add 18% on parties of 8 or more.”
Big Guy (pointing to two friends) – “You fuckers are sitting by yourselves.”

-Rachel