Posts Tagged ‘waiter problems’

My level of bullshit tolerance with clients is considered zen. I’m practically a Buddha at this point.

-Greg

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Woman: I’d like the grilled salmon. Me: I’m sorry, unfortunately we’re out of salmon for tonight but we…

At this point I’m cut off as the woman looks up from her menu and says…

“What do you expect vegetarians to eat then?”

The look in her eye told me she wasn’t joking when she asked the question. I almost just gave the woman a ‘wat?’ but caught myself and directed her to the middle top portion of our menu where the fish and shellfish selections are located, thinking that maybe she thinks pescatarian and vegetarian are synonymous.

“I don’t eat fish or shellfish”

I’m just dumbfounded at this point and can only manage to say “Oh”. At which point, she throws her hands up in a fit and exasperates “I’ll just take the spinach dip”.

Crown gem after all of that was her question of “Can you just put a rush on that?” as she looks at the packed restaurant in the background.

I’m still not sure what she thinks salmon is; if she thinks it’s grown from the ground, picked from a tree or is just a conglomeration of other vegetables in the shape of a piece of fish.

Best five bucks on a $70 check I ever earned.

-Art

When you’re with the woman who’s not your wife, you’re a lot nicer to us, probably because YOU know that WE know it’s not your wife, because you’re a regular and we know your wife.

-Brooke

Today I served an obese ginger family. There were 7 of them and they all needed extra ranch. I thought this was some kind of mathematical impossibility? Either way I could literally feel my soul being sucked out of my body every time I refilled a coke. Do you automatically get diabetes after 7 coke refills? Weeeellllll the fat version of the Weasly family from Harry Potter managed to rack up a $267.87 check only to leave $3.13 for my effort….my only consolation is that they would all probably burst into flames if the sun were to ever touch their creepy pale skin.

-Chris

Of my 7ish table section I have the following:

A 2 top of foreigners who barely speak English let alone know what they ordered.
A 2 top at one of my 4 tops ( I have open 2s)
A 3 top of creepy inapporate rednecks
And a 6 top of children

Who wants to get a drink with me after work????

-Justene

Me: “Hi, I’m Megan, I’ll be your waitress tonight.”

Customer: “Well, hi, I’m Joe and I’ll be your customer for tonight”

Oh, the laughs that were had. ._.

-Megan

For some reason the dishwasher has started to turn its self on, while its still open. FML.

-Dave

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I just cleaned up green puke amd its only 11:12 a.m.

-Stacy

When you split a check you officially fall into the category of what we in the service industry call douchetarded. Have fun with that.

-Tommy