Posts Tagged ‘WTF’

This stellar human being handed me the check presenter with exact change and said to my face “sorry chief I am to broke to tip you.”

-Tommy

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Can someone please explain the physics of dropping a ramekin and it EXPLODING like a grenade? Seriously there could barley be any ranch in that sucker and if dropped there will be ranch on the ceiling!

-Brandon

Old Lady with severe dementia comes in with her family. As I am pre-bussing she proclaims that she has to use the restroom. However, she had already began to go. Diarrhea all over the seat and trailing through the dining room. We had to open the emergency exit to let guests leave. I felt so bad for the busser who had to clean it up! I tipped him extra that night!

-Rachel

Me: “Hey, how are you doing this evening?”

Customer: “Bud Light”

I’ve never felt “Bud Light” before, but it doesn’t sound pleasant.

-Tom

I’ve learned that some people think they are being discreet with sex in public, but really they’re just drunk and oblivious. I’ve also learned that there are others that simply do not give a shit, and will blatantly fuck anywhere.

One time there was an older couple, sitting at the bar, off in a corner by the wall. He looked really sleepy, and she was shaking a little bit and they weren’t talking much. At first I didn’t realize what was going on, and I thought they were just awkward as hell. Nope. Dude was getting a handy under the bar, and an extremely weird one apparently. He was just sitting there, head rolling around looking tired, while she furiously manhandled him, while trying to look around and play it cool.

I confront them: ”Hey folks, how you doing there? Can I get you anything? So where you from? Locals? Here on vacation? How do ya like it so far? When I approached they freaked out a little bit, and sat there looking at me, trying to make a coherent sentence. Eventually I told them, ”You may want to save that for later, we have cameras in here.”Lady looks embarrassed, and the guy says, “Dude I was almost done” Gross

-Brace

The restaurant I work at forces us girls to wear spandex shorts. today a very very drunk man was apparently looking at my ass the entire time he was there. He stops me on the way to the bar and says, “hey hey I….just gots to say…gurl dyamm..dat asss…i mean your buttcheeks….shoot ah….you got some powerful looking buttcheeks ma’am…keep it up.” dude wtf does that mean!? Powerful looking buttcheeks? Should I be sad?

-Alexis

At the entrance is our mascot….a poo poo!

I work at a chain Italian restaurant. This guy orders chicken Alfredo and a side of ranch. I am assuming the ranch is for the little tiny piece of salad he is working on, so I put in the order and grab his side of ranch. It sits there till I drop the chicken Alfredo. This psycho grabs the side of ranch and dumps it into his chicken Alfredo, stirs it up, and takes a giant bite! Grossssss!

-Tiffany

We are also not your servants. We sure as hell aren’t your dog and we are not your mother or your maid. I cannot stand when people have no manners, are rude, dirty or just have no idea how to conduct themselves in public.

Here’s a few general reminders for next time you go out to eat:

  • If you walk in and there is a hostess you can generally assume YOU DO NOT SEAT YOURSELF
  • Once said hostess seats you IT IS RUDE TO MOVE TABLES WITHOUT ASKING
  • Restaurants generally follow a seating rotation. That being said there is a reason you’re being sat where you are.
  • People make mistakes. Hostesses and waitresses are people too.
  • If you’re polite, I can almost guarantee your service will be 100x better.
  • Waiters and waitresses make about 2 dollars an hour: most of which they have to give back to the restaurant. TIP YOUR SERVER.
  • Say please and thank you. It honestly does make a difference.
  • If you’re going to request a table, don’t request one that you can obviously see is dirty.
  • A call ahead is different from a reservation.
  • If everyone in the restaurant can hear your conversation, YOU ARE TALKING TOO LOUD.
  • The menus are not place mats

-Miranda

Ooo…..pardon me….