I’m a server/bartender. It’s a busy night, most of my bar is full. I see a group of dudes staggering in, clearly quite hammered. They’re all wearing hockey jerseys so I assume victory drinks were being had or sorrows were being drowned. I refuse to serve them (not to be an asshole; we could lose our license if one of these idiots takes a sip and then cracks his head on the bar…) which doesn’t go down so well. After a few mandatory derogatory comments, the alpha tells me to kindly fuck myself and proceeds to grab an almost full pint from the nearest customer. Customer is protesting, alpha’s buddies are cheering. Unsurprisingly, alpha starts to chug.

People are beginning to notice the commotion, throwing disdainful looks in every direction, I step out to try and grab the glass. Alpha’s almost finished the entire drink as I’m reaching when suddenly his stomach decides to reject his offering. This champ fucking vomits most of the drink back up into the glass, attempts to place it on the bar and smashes it, sending shards of glass and second hand alcohol in every direction (the owner of the drink was absolutely covered in shit). This does nothing but delight the hockey fans and they grin and cheer, tell me how to avoid this situation in future and walk out, exchanging obligatory high fives. I close the bar and start driving home. On the way I see the Alpha handcuffed and bent over a cop car. Karma!


  1. halftangible says:

    Ha! Nice ^^ …hope the customer who got his drink stolen got a refill and/or saw that too.

    I used to work at a grocery store. One time, a customer took two things of whipped cream, shoved them up his nose, and got high off of it. And then tried to leave without paying for them (saying that since he didn’t take them out of the store, he doesn’t have to).

  2. Great story. Might want to hire a doorman.

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