I worked at a pizza place in a college town and had to deal with all manner of drunken debauchery, but one guy took the cake. Big guy, wearing a stained beater and a orange hunting vest, stumbles into our shop around 1:00 AM, a fairly hectic time affectionately referred to as the “drunk rush.” He orders a slice, takes it and sits down at a small table to eat.

Halfway through, his head begins drooping and I’m worried the guy is either going to pass out or puke (neither were uncommon occurrences at this hour). After several attempts I finally manage to wake him up and he mutters something about needing to piss and wanders off towards the bathroom which was, at this time, apparently occupied. Not content with being forced to wait, the guy pulls out his dick and starts pissing all over the floor, walls, and bathroom door. I should mention that this is a tiny 1-room restaurant and this is happening in full view of everyone.

He finishes up, pulls up his pants as best he could (he left them unzipped and hanging around his hips) and trudges back to his table, where he lays his head down in his half eaten slice of pizza and promptly passes the fuck out. No amount of cajoling, threatening or physical force would move this man. I called in my boss, a large and threatening Bolivian man, who manages to wake him up and starts yelling at him to get the fuck out of his store, etc.

Drunk guy doesn’t like this and starts yelling back, by this point the whole restaurant is silent and watching this exchange. Drunk guy decides he’s had enough and stomps out of the store. As soon as he steps foot outside, he turns around, pulls down his pants and starts smearing his ass all over the full length windows at the front of the store. Then his drunk ass buddy starts doing the same thing. Fucking pandemonium.


Customers go nuts, some of the drunker ones start shouting at the guy which just pisses him off more, and distracts him from the fact that he’s fucking naked from the waist down and wagging his cock all over the place. Ended up having to call the cops to forcibly remove him and his buddy, and the guy was so big and drunk it took 4 of them to restrain him.


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  1. I like the fact that your customers got riled up or you. Is that photo actually the two guys?

  2. deaniedaisyxoxo says:

    Hahaha what a bunch of losers! Thanx , had a great laugh :).

  3. Haha reading this made my day thank you!

  4. McLerranMD says:

    And I thought I had bad days at work – LAUGH OUT LOUD. Glad I was not in this restaurant…

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