One of my first few nights working in a busy nightclub and a hockey game lets out. Everyone is already hammered coming in the door and we’re getting run over.
I run downstairs to an employee-only area to get some back stock, and I find this guy propped up against a wall, dick out, peeing all over our paper supply shelf (napkins, silverware wraps, towels, etcetera). I yell, “ARE YOU SERIOUS.” He looks up at me, dick still in his hand, and screams back “YEP.” He stuffs it in his pants and tries to bolt, but he’s so dunk that he eats shit down the stairs and knocks himself out. The paramedics had to take him out of there!
-Colin