Is how people come to a restaurant when it is OBVIOUS AS FUCK that we are super busy, ask the waitress (namely, me) for something as they are removing empty glasses from the table to replace them with full ones, and ask ANOTHER server for the same thing. I mean, are you seriously impatient enough that you can’t wait until your desert gets there for spoons? I promise the spoons will get there before your desert, just chill!
– Carl
Break Room Stories 
It’s stories like yours that make me so thankful that I left the left the profession of “waiting” tables. Because I no longer do it for a living, it’s safe to share the following:
I never found your kids handsome or funny.
When I put out silver wear on your table, I would like to get at least some of it back.
The only reason I chased after you screaming that you forgot your baby’s bag while you were getting in your car was to make sure you got it when you left and for fear that you would come back with your deamon spawn and upset the patrons while you are screaming I know I left the diaper bag here.and when you look at me panting and and me getting ready to toss your bag to you like a quaterback on a mission Now wave bye