Today a women sat at my table alone. After asking about every single drink on our menu she asked me how our roast beef sandwich was cut. To lighten the mood I said, “with a knife.” She said without the slightest smile, “no no no how is it cut?” I said, “in half.” She replied, “NO NO NO! How is it cut!?” At this point I could tell she had no soul, so I said, “the sandwich is cut at a diagonal angle.” She replied, “uhhh I hate that…. I want the sandwich but I want it cut in half perpendicular NOT diagonal.” She shoved the menu at me and I walked away. I didn’t ring in the cutting instructions on purpose to see if this tyrannosaurus would send it back. Of course she sent it back. See lady this is why you are eating alone…you are in fact a miserable excuse for a human being.
-Makena