Breakfast server here: Today two broke ass looking girls got sat at my table. I grab the coffee pot assuming these ratchets are going to need some caffeine. As I approach the table mess #1 says to mess #2 “I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?” I tried so hard not to laugh as I asked if they wanted coffee.
-John
Break Room Stories 
I was working a function several weeks back. I am standing next to a tallboy table clearing some glasses. I can’t help but over hear a conversation coming from a man and woman standing next to me. The woman is dumping on the man about yeast infections and having had crabs and so the conversation keeps going in that direction. A few minutes later I am telling the guy serving the drinks about what happened. I am laughing as I remind him we are not serving alcohol so she cannot be drunk enough to tell him this stuff and he is not drunk enough to listen. He says to me: “She is making it clear to him that he will not be having sex with her.” I had to laugh at that!