Woman: I’d like the grilled salmon. Me: I’m sorry, unfortunately we’re out of salmon for tonight but we…

At this point I’m cut off as the woman looks up from her menu and says…

“What do you expect vegetarians to eat then?”

The look in her eye told me she wasn’t joking when she asked the question. I almost just gave the woman a ‘wat?’ but caught myself and directed her to the middle top portion of our menu where the fish and shellfish selections are located, thinking that maybe she thinks pescatarian and vegetarian are synonymous.

“I don’t eat fish or shellfish”

I’m just dumbfounded at this point and can only manage to say “Oh”. At which point, she throws her hands up in a fit and exasperates “I’ll just take the spinach dip”.

Crown gem after all of that was her question of “Can you just put a rush on that?” as she looks at the packed restaurant in the background.

I’m still not sure what she thinks salmon is; if she thinks it’s grown from the ground, picked from a tree or is just a conglomeration of other vegetables in the shape of a piece of fish.

Best five bucks on a $70 check I ever earned.


  1. Sunrie says:

    …dear god *face palm*

  2. Well, salmon does come from farms.

  3. Unsure "Adult" says:

    Reblogged this on Boo's & Ooo's and commented:
    Little Humor for the Day.

  4. Iona Nerissa says:

    $70 for spinach dip? I hope she drank a lot of wine or else that is way over-priced!

  5. sassyjax says:

    When I read “I don’t eat fish or shellfish”, I was literally wondering why she wanted salmon the first place. Sounds like because there wasn’t salmon, she just wanted to pick a fight. Good post! :)

  6. chinks says:

    Salmon eating vegetarian!! Wow!!

  7. WOW, some people make exceptions in their heads that make no since at all! LOL

  8. joanna06 says:

    OMG, she was one of those customers, but at least she left you $5.00.

  9. MRS N, the Author says:

    LMAO! That’s bloody brilliant! A Salmon Tree! LOL!

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