Archive for the ‘awesome’ Category

We are also not your servants. We sure as hell aren’t your dog and we are not your mother or your maid. I cannot stand when people have no manners, are rude, dirty or just have no idea how to conduct themselves in public.

Here’s a few general reminders for next time you go out to eat:

  • If you walk in and there is a hostess you can generally assume YOU DO NOT SEAT YOURSELF
  • Once said hostess seats you IT IS RUDE TO MOVE TABLES WITHOUT ASKING
  • Restaurants generally follow a seating rotation. That being said there is a reason you’re being sat where you are.
  • People make mistakes. Hostesses and waitresses are people too.
  • If you’re polite, I can almost guarantee your service will be 100x better.
  • Waiters and waitresses make about 2 dollars an hour: most of which they have to give back to the restaurant. TIP YOUR SERVER.
  • Say please and thank you. It honestly does make a difference.
  • If you’re going to request a table, don’t request one that you can obviously see is dirty.
  • A call ahead is different from a reservation.
  • If everyone in the restaurant can hear your conversation, YOU ARE TALKING TOO LOUD.
  • The menus are not place mats


This was a couple of months ago, but I had a 4-top on a busy Saturday night (Grandma, father, mother, daughter). The grandma came up to me as I was walking up and said that she was the one to get the check. Okay, cool, no big deal. As I was taking the drink order, the father told me that he wanted the check. Well, grandma already called dibs but I’m not about to tell him that.

They are finishing up and she signals that she wants the check. I secretly give it to her as I’m setting down some refills. Father asks me to bring the check over, but I’ve already got grandma’s card in my hand. So I tell him sure thing, go and run grandma’s card, and wrote on one of my order sheets (looks way different than our checks), “Sorry, she already paid… :\” I handed that to him as I handed the real check to grandma.

My heart was pounding after dropping that off. I was sure he would complain, I would get in trouble, it would be seen as rude or offensive. He calls me over to their table in a stern kind of voice, and then laughs. Handed me a $20 for being able to pull a joke on him. I thanked him, and went to the back to breathe a huge sigh of relief.


Click Picture To View Gallery
25 of 34

Customer: “Give me a Lindsay Lohan”

Me: “What’s that?”

Customer: “A red-headed slut with a splash of Coke”

Me: “bahahahahahahaha”


A couple years ago I worked in a bbq joint. We used to do kitschy stuff like hand out tootsie pops with the check. Anyways, I come by with a bucket of tootsie pops for this family I was serving, and their little boy just lights up. He was so happy. His parents said he could have one, and man was he was excited. Then, as I was walking away he starts yelling “Bud Light – Here We Go! Bud Light!”

I had to book it to the back so before I started cracking up on the floor.


I am a 5 foot 1 blonde girl, today I dropped off a 14 oz steak to giant tattooed biker man tonight and as I set the giant plate in front of this giant scary man he said verbatim…”You go Glen Coco” Yep…the enormous 300 pound leather clad tattooed giant quoted Mean Girls. My life is complete.


No matter where you work there is some kind of uniform. Whether you have to squeeze yourself into little orange shorts, wear nothing but white with a stupid tie, black on black on black on black, a full on tuxedo, lingerie, semi casual, or 15 pieces of flair…whatever… the management makes you pay for some part of your uniform. Which meaaaannnns we wear em till they fall off!

Lets be real, i’d rather buy you a round of drinks instead


Waiter with ripped pants

If you have any stories that are accompanied by a picture please email the story and picture to

Whenever the managers give me their card for a checkout, I make sure to have 1-2 cash tables open and I discount them 20-30 dollars before I leave, that way I make an extra $40 to $60 a night. Gotta pay that rent!