I’m a bartender in a nightclub in south Florida. (did i mention it’s clothing optional)? we give nicknames to our regular joes who come in with small thingys…theres dr. acorn, mister burns, the “outtie” (seriously looks like a belly button)…and to all you twenty somethings who think you are impressing the chicks and staff by running around grabbing arses and acting like you’re the first guys in the universe to do that, you’re not, you look dumb and no one wants to see your weird little nuts. thanks. i have a million stories but most awkward IMO is…drum roll…probably the guy who brought his weird little poodle dog in and was in the corner looking over the balcony with his back to us. security got nosy because he was fiddling with one hand, dog in other, security sees he’s fiddling with yup…his thingy…we have strict ‘no sex on premises’ rule. security asks him to stop, he asks if he could finish up first, security declines asks him to leave now. he offers security 3$ to let him stay and he promises not to jerk it anymore…no dice. is ejected by two security guards (one with the dog) sporting the blue steel.