Archive for the ‘Hook Ups’ Category

I work at a restaurant across the street from a hotel and a big convention center so we often get customers from business conventions. One night a late 30’s business women came in solo and sat at my table. Four martinis later she and I got real chatty. She told me all about her directional drilling company blah blah blah I was trying to act interested to get a big tip. She is finally ready to go and I drop the check. She leaves and winks at me on the way out. I go back to the table and open the check presenter. Inside was exact change for the bill, a room key, a condom, and a note. The note said I have the rest of your tip in room 613 and I got you something to wear….


I was working one friday night in a very packed city bar. Around midnight as people where getting good and sauced up my fellow bartenders noticed this couple getting very hot and heavy. FYI PDA’s are gross and really obnoxious sitting at the bar… Anyway these two are going at way harder than your normal drunk cpl. Her facial expression gave it away. Turns out that his hand was all the way up her skirt and… you can imagine the rest.

They were so into it that they didn’t notice that people where starting to watch. So much so that a two foot radius developed around them and half the bar was watching. At this point my buddy took a flashlight and shined upon them like a spotlight. After about 30 seconds of being “on stage” the dude realized what was going on but didn’t stop! Finally the girl came too and bolted for the door. Dude threw a $100 on the bar and they both left to a standing ovation. AWESOME


One of my male co-workers always complains how he doesn’t get laid. I am thinking of taking one for the team because I am worried he is going to explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.


How long do you have to be broken up with your last co worker ex before you start dating a new co worker? A couple months? Whoops how bout 2 days     : /


I hear one twenty something woman say to another “Did he try to buttfuck you? Because he tried to buttfuck me.”

It is, to this day, the best thing I have ever overheard.


The joke is on you. I double knot.


When you know you have been in the business a tad too long…when overweight lesbians having sex on the bathroom sink in a busy nightclub bathroom doesn’t shock you but just pisses you off because now you have to fix a broken sink.


Was working a busy night at Buffalo Wild Wings, our female bartender went into the restroom and opened a stall that wasn’t locked and there was a lady playing Dj-Hero on herself completely naked.

The best part is she was sitting at the bar, the bartender quickly left and the lady went and sat back down and stayed for about an hour after the whole thing went down. I’m sure it was the most awkward one hour of that bartenders life.


Sneaking shots mid shift with my co-worker crush in anticipation of sitting on his face later.