Posts Tagged ‘cops’

Bartender at an Applebees: One night this total redneck (long hair, scruffy beard) comes in, sits at the bar, and after i give him a few beers i notice he’s annihilated (must have been drinking before) so i cut him off. He’s not happy with this but rules are rules so whatever. Anyways I go to the bathroom and on the way back hear the barback, who was this tiny girl, yelling at him to stop. He has gone behind the bar and is trying to pry the cash register open with a spoon. I confront him and tell him to knock it off or i’m calling the cops, and he says “GO AHEAD, CALL THE FUCKING COPS… ITS A FREE COUNTRY.” So i phone the police and they show up about 5 minutes later.

So the cops show up (at this point he was back on the other side of the bar) and ask him for his ID. “ID, YOU WANT TO SEE MY ID?” he yells, and takes off his wife beater. He’s got an enormous tattoo of a bald eagle with the american flag behind it on his chest, and he points to it and yells at the cops “THERES MY FUCKING ID! THAT GOOD NUFF FOR YAH! USA USA (he seriously started chanting that.)” So the cops promptly walk him out, in hand cuffs.


This is a pretty awful story, so brace yourselves, but it involves waaaay underage drinking, crooked cops, and shifty servers (me, at the time).

I was working at a beach-side bar in the most touristy part of South Beach, Miami. We were a main attraction on the strip, so on weekend nights, South Beach Off-Duty police officers would pick up extra pay by acting as full-uniform security, contracted out by the city.

The thing is, these cops would drink. A lot.

They stood on the street, just near our streetside/service bar, and they were allowed to get a soda from the service bartender whenever needed. Of the four or so we saw every weekend, two of them had a deal worked out with the bartender that meant that their “cokes” actually meant Bacardi 151 and coke.

Because they were supposed to be drinking non-alcoholic drinks, their sodas were poured in the same glass that was designated for underage patrons, or anyone else who got a non-alcoholic drink.

Let me stop here and remind you that I was young, and I’m not proud of what I did.

I had a table outside that was a family, including a little boy. He ordered a Dr. Pepper, and I rang it in. When I picked up the order, I naturally picked up the kid drink in the no alcohol cup along with the other drinks, and ran it to the table. When I got back to the service bar, there was a little less than a minute of frantic panic by the Cop and Bartender, and I realized that I had just given a 10 year old a 151 and Coke.

I rushed out to the table as quick as I could, just in time to see the kid take a gulp and make a face. My response needs to be documented as one of the worse acts of cowardice known. I told the parents that the syrup had run out on the Dr. Pepper, and it probably tasted funny like soda water, but I’d fix it in a sec and get him a new one.

This was over ten years ago, and I was a sort-of newbie, it still haunts me.