Posts Tagged ‘crazy’

So this woman wanted a tuna sandwich. You know, everyday tuna on the bread with some vegetables. I scoop, I spread. Suddenly she flips her shit, waving her arms, pointing at the glass. Yeah, who knew drunken banshees loved tuna…in balls.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, she didn’t want her tuna spread like a normal human being would.

“I want my tuna in balls!” she cried. “In baaalllsss! That looks nasty, I don’t want it spread on dat bread. I want balls!”

And in the back of my head, dear readers, I think: You want a cucumber and a condom with that too?


Today I had a customer order a dish that comes with vegetables and mash potatoes. He asked if he could have an extra side of mashed potatoes and I informed him it would be $2.50 extra. With a heavy sigh, he agreed.

Did you think I could just give you extra food for free?

Anyway, the kitchen informs me that we are out of mashed potatoes and have cubed ones instead. I inform the man this and he goes BERZERK!

Man : WHAT!! Are you serious? You seriously don’t have mashed potatoes? How do you run out of mashed potatoes? Is this serious?

Me: Well sir, there are only 2 dishes on the menu that come with mashed potatoes, so they don’t prepare that much in the morning. If you like though we have the cubed potatoes, or could could do extra vegetables or pasta.

Man: But I want mashed potatoes!

Me: I’m really sorry sir, is there anything we can substitute instead?

Man: No, I want mashed potatotes and I won’t be happy unless I get them.

Me: I’m sorry sir.

He then gets up and walks out. After him and his wife already drank all their drink and ate their salads.


– Sofia

Totally forgot to put on deodorant today annnnnnd I am working a double.


I work at an old country restaurant where we get ALOT of elderly people. Many are regulars, and some we wish would stop coming. A very elderly couple comes in every few weeks. The wife falls asleep in her food and the husband is demanding, rude, and annoying. One night, because the wife was so out of it, I had to help her out to her car. I have a very soft spot for old people, but this couple is borderline obnoxious. Dude can barely walk out to his lifted, 2011 model, Ford F150… Is he seriously driving this thing?

I had to pretty much push the lady up to get into the car. Another week he hit a sweet old mans car knocking off his bumper and just drove away. The worst time ever was when this same man tore up the bathroom and did nothing to try and clean it up. That’s when I was done. This couple needs to learn to stay home to eat or have someone else drive them around and take care of their messes because as a waitress, it is not my job to deal with this drama.


Bartender at an Applebees: One night this total redneck (long hair, scruffy beard) comes in, sits at the bar, and after i give him a few beers i notice he’s annihilated (must have been drinking before) so i cut him off. He’s not happy with this but rules are rules so whatever. Anyways I go to the bathroom and on the way back hear the barback, who was this tiny girl, yelling at him to stop. He has gone behind the bar and is trying to pry the cash register open with a spoon. I confront him and tell him to knock it off or i’m calling the cops, and he says “GO AHEAD, CALL THE FUCKING COPS… ITS A FREE COUNTRY.” So i phone the police and they show up about 5 minutes later.

So the cops show up (at this point he was back on the other side of the bar) and ask him for his ID. “ID, YOU WANT TO SEE MY ID?” he yells, and takes off his wife beater. He’s got an enormous tattoo of a bald eagle with the american flag behind it on his chest, and he points to it and yells at the cops “THERES MY FUCKING ID! THAT GOOD NUFF FOR YAH! USA USA (he seriously started chanting that.)” So the cops promptly walk him out, in hand cuffs.


Click the picture to view Recipes
alcohol shots thirty recipes

There is no excuse for this type of behavior…ever. This is a true injustice and blatant disregard for humanity. I hope these animals are persecuted to the full extent of the law for acting like animals and physically assaulting a waitress in her work place.

I use to serve drinks at a casino. One time this lady came up to me and asked if I had seen her little purse. I said no, go check with security. And she told me that she had seen a girl with my uniform come up and take her purse. I told her that if any of us had seen an abandoned purse we can’t touch it until security gets there so that’s impossible.  She then stands outside the server area screaming at us about her purse until security gets there. The lady that had been sitting next to her was super convinced that we had stolen this lady’s purse so she called the cops since no one was “handling” the situation. The cops get there right as they find the purse… It’s filled with meth and her I.D….she went straight to jail.


I work at a Texas-themed chain steakhouse in Kentucky. I had a customer send a three page letter to my manager accusing me of trying to seduce her husband while I waited on their table. She said I couldn’t keep my eyes off him and I kept touching him when I came to their table. It was such a ridiculous accusation that my managers could not believe it. If the customer had not included my name and an accurate (oddly flattering, WTF?) description of me, they would not have even discussed it with me.

I am not a people person and I am not a touchy-feely person. The incident had to have been 100% imagined on her part. I couldn’t even remember the couple in question. It was so weird and so scary to know that her insecurity and wild imagination could have gotten me fired if my managers didn’t trust that I was my usual frosty, introverted self.