Posts Tagged ‘dine and dash’

I got dined and dashed by a priest last Friday….


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I had a really ghetto couple at my table once when I was working at a mexican restaurant. I brought them the bill. It was only like 27$. The guy takes it, looks at it, says “I gotta go get my wallet out of my car.” I didn’t think anything about it since the woman didn’t move. I walk back to the register and she stands up faster than I thought she could move, and starts yelling “HE RUNNIN HE RUNNIN DAT MO’FUCKA LEAVIN!” and a whole slew of expletives.

The asshole got in his car and took off, leaving her there while she’s cussin up a storm, threw her chair down and spilled dishes all over the floor and shit. I run to the door and this fat bitch runs right by me, bowls me over (she had a good two-hundred pounds on me) and just takes off running after the car. It was probably the saddest/most hilarious thing I’ve seen. She didn’t make it far before she ran out of breath and just stood there waving a napkin in the air cursing. We called the cops and they picked up the man and we didn’t ask for payment or anything, since it was obviously in vain.


A couple came in on a first date. The guy (who was a big asshole) was in a suit, the lady a sexy little black dress with no purse. They go ahead and order martinis, bottles of wine, lobsters, all kinds of expensive shit and then the guy says he has the run to the washroom. He never came back. His poor date didn’t bring a purse with her because he wanted to wine and dine her so she wasn’t able to pay. I told her not to worry about it, she’d been through enough and that we’d just write the bill off. The woman came back the next day, paid the bill and gave me a 20% tip….and her number ; )