Posts Tagged ‘dui’

I had a woman order a shot of “Jose Swerve-Oh”…..Then proceed to tell me about her 3 DUIs


Guy was eating alone late one weeknight. Finished his meal, then spent the next two hours reading magazines and ordering one drink after another. The bartender finally came out and had a look at him, then instructed the waitress to cut him off. He reacted poorly, as in: called the waitress every name he could think of, composed himself, walked around to the bar and motioned the bartender over, then took a swing at her.

At this point the cooks had been called to the front of the house, and the manager told the man to pay his bill and fuck off. He went back, put cash on the table, and left. And here’s where it gets awesome. He continued shouting biologically-specific profanities as he walked to his car. Finally he lurched into the landscaped area beneath the restaurant’s windows and tried to pull a miniature palm tree up by the roots, failed, and then stood screaming and staring in horror as his shredded hands spurted blood.

In the meantime one of the waitresses had called her cop boyfriend, who showed up just as the guy had gotten in his car and was driving out of the parking lot. DUI. Sometimes karma is instant, and she is a bitch.