Posts Tagged ‘fat and unhappy’

I work at a diner nearby a retirement home, so we get a lot of sweet older couples. one of my first shifts ever i had this sweet older gentleman come in and explains he is waiting for his wife, gets coffee, waits.
she shows up, and is absolutely the WORST to her poor husband, who just sits there and takes it. Anyways, they both order some generic breakfast platter, food arrives, I take it to them. there was no delay, they were the first and only people in that morning.

So, I always go back to check on how they’re doing, but I see that only the older man has been eating, the wife is just throwing her arms up at him and bitching.¬†finally, I come up a few minutes later anyways, ask how everything is going, the man’s plate almost gone. the woman looks at me, looks at her full plate, tries a bite of her egg, (SURPRISE, hot food actually cools down if you don’t touch it for ten minutes) and absolutely loses her mind at me, starts GRINDING her claws into the egg yolks, hashbrowns, toast, bacon and tells me how COLD IT IS. Her decrepit talons covered in her breakfast, how can anyone be this angry?! But you know they’re always right.. right? So I apologize, leave to go comp her meal, and she gets up and just leaves. And her poor husband just sits there staring.. Like..

Yup. Should have left her 60 years ago, bud.

-Hallie

Last night a man came in with a 5 megaton f.u.p.a. (Fat upper penis area) he looked pregnant. Not only did he have to sit 2 feet back from the table, spill food all over himself and the floor, demand 8 diet coke refills, he also smelled really bad and stiffed me. Then again I would be upset too if I had to permanently shop in the maternity section at target.

– Christina