Posts Tagged ‘food service stories’

While delivering food to another servers’ table, I walked up on this table of 7 middle-aged business-type ladies whom were passing around numerous pictures of boobs. Shots just of the boobs, nothing else. All types, nice ones, odd ones, large and small. Half the pics were perfect racks. They didn’t notice my approach, and all seemed very excited.

ahem “Ladies, hot plates!”

With a few shrieks they immediately began shuffling the pictures away while awkwardly laughing, looking embarrassed and blushing hard.

“Nothing I haven’t seen before, ladies” trying to put down these fucking hot plates/ease thier embarrasment. Turns out they were before and after shots of thier boob-jobs. They said one of them (and pointed to her) was thinking about getting one and they were convincing her. She almost slid under the table with embarrassment.


A customer asked for a milkshake, but didn’t want any ice-cream in it. So I chilled the glass for a few minutes, used milk from the coldest fridge we had, then took it to her. A few minutes later she called me over, complaining it was too warm. There wasn’t much I could do to make it any colder, and I explained that to her, when all of a sudden she bursts out “Taste it! Taste how warm it is! TASTE THE MILKSHAKE.”


I hear one twenty something woman say to another “Did he try to buttfuck you? Because he tried to buttfuck me.”

It is, to this day, the best thing I have ever overheard.


A couple years ago I worked in a bbq joint. We used to do kitschy stuff like hand out tootsie pops with the check. Anyways, I come by with a bucket of tootsie pops for this family I was serving, and their little boy just lights up. He was so happy. His parents said he could have one, and man was he was excited. Then, as I was walking away he starts yelling “Bud Light – Here We Go! Bud Light!”

I had to book it to the back so before I started cracking up on the floor.


I spat in my coworker drink while he was away. He was an asshole who was stealing my tips and my cigs out of my purse. I caught him twice.


Now that I’ve worked in a restaurant, I never ask for lemon in a drink. Everybody touches them. Nobody washes them. We just peel the stickers off, cut them up, and throw them in your iced tea…


A few weeks ago, I watched a grown woman sob into her napkin because we left the cheese out of her sandwich…The crazy part was her husband just sat there quietly eating while she threw a tantrum. Bizarre.


As a college student, I worked at a greasy spoon diner. On weekends the diner would be open 24 hrs/day and every waitress had to work at least one shift. Around 1:30 a.m. the locals who had spent their paycheck at a nearby watering hole would come in to get greasy home fries and Belgian waffles. One group would always request me because I embarrassed easily

So they would leave unused tampons in the ashtray, or make revolting jokes and I had no idea what to do and this was an environment where it was both tolerated and expected. One gal in the group, often brought in this orange penis and she’d go through this weird enactment of “flashing” her orange penis at me.


I was a 15 year old busboy (male), and one night I was clearing a table of a middle aged husband and wife, and every time I came to their table all night, the husband would wink at me. So the last time I have to go is when I bring their to-go bags, and he goes, “you know, we’ve been looking for someone to have a threesome with for a while, are you interested?” I said hell no and got my boss, who kicked them out and almost beat the shit out of him for trying to solicit a 15 year old boy!


One night a family walks in my restaurant and literally as soon as they enter the front door, one of their young sons pukes all over the floor, leaving all of us to clean it up. The family decides they still want to eat. As they’re sitting at their table waiting for their food, the kid throws up all over the floor again. This time, one of the owners cleans it up because the dinner rush is coming and we’re all getting really busy. They STILL don’t leave and their food finally comes. For some reason, the mother has decided to to order something for her sick son, which he eats and proceeds to throw it back up all over the floor AGAIN, to be cleaned up by staff again. They still don’t decide to leave until the whole family has finished their meals.