Posts Tagged ‘Funny’

When working as a fast food manager, we changed our store hours from being open 24 hours to closing at midnight. The business just wasn’t there to stay open all night. I had a customer try to come through the drive through, my employee told him that we were closed, sorry. The guy proceeded to yell and scream at my employee and even threatened him.

He then pulled into a parking lot next door and got out of his truck and started throwing beer cans at my store. I then called the police, but could only get a partial plate number. Well, as it turned out he called our 800 number that was listed on the window to complain, I then had his phone number, address and name.

The cops tracked him down and I actually got an apology letter that was addressed from the county court office. They made him write an apology letter! Gotcha Sucka!

-Cheri

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Was serving two couples, after a couple bottles of wine one of the mothers asked to take my picture as she wanted to set me up with her daughter. I said OK what does she look like. They said she looks just like Kate Hudson and showed me a picture of her. Yeah she looked like Kate Hudson if Kate Hudson gained 40 pounds and ran face first into a wall 10 times….Thanks but no thanks.

-John

I work at an upscale restaurant in a hotel. Last Friday night I had this couple come in clearly on a date. She looked ridiculous big fake boobs, big hair, pounds of make-up, designer bag clearly HIGH MAINTENCE. I introduce myself and step away from the table…when I do the “gentleman” comes up behind me and says, “Listen bro…she is going to order premium everything…Goose, Patron, mixed with Pellegrino and who knows what else…give her WELL everything none of that expensive sh!T…BUT TELL HER IT’S PREMIUM…I am paying the bill and I will hook you up,” I do it she doesn’t notice annnd this asshole tips 5%. Thanks BRO…

-Kyle

Me: “Hey, how are you doing this evening?”

Customer: “Bud Light”

I’ve never felt “Bud Light” before, but it doesn’t sound pleasant.

-Tom

My last job my co-workers and I were talking about who we thought was cute and how had the cutest butt.  Girl talk of course.  I happened to mention that I thought our store manager had a cute butt.  Next time I saw him I just started giggling.  He asked me what was so funny, I told him he didn’t want to know.  He insisted that he did.  So, I told him I thought he had a cute butt.  He immediately turned and walked away with a bright red face.  This is a man who always has a come back for everything.  He avoided me for a long time.  Someone finally told his boss about it, all he did was laugh and wished he could have been there to see him speechless because it never happened before.  I ended up hooking up with him later that month haha!

-Cheri

That awkward shift when your section is right next to the co-worker you had sex with last night at a work party…

-Katie

I hate when people are standing in the middle of a pathway/in a doorway/in an outer corner where I am running food/drinks/extra ranch……MOVE bitch. Get out the way. Get out the way fo I run you over with this tray.

-Ileen

A guy falls asleep at the bar, so I tell his friends that he has to go. They say no problem, but they need help getting him into the car. So I pick him up and basically carry him to their car, while the friend goes to the drivers side the guy sobers up enough to stand and looks me in the eye and asks “Is my dick hanging out?” I reluctantly look down and say “No” He says “Well it better be, cause I’m pissin’.”

His friends just put him in the car and come back inside and keep drinking. about two hours later “sleepy piss pants” comes back into the bar with asphalt burns all over his head, hands, arms. yelling about “Some black guys” that jumped him. We check the surveillance footage, and the “Black guys” ended up being the parking lot. He stumbled his way out of the vehicle onto the pavement and proceeded to fight the parking lot. He lost. We all won. I wish I had saved that footage.

-Bobby

I am a host. At the host stand we have a bucket with crayons for little kids. On the way out of my restaurant a woman stopped at the host stand and started shoveling crayons into her purse. I said, “ma’am those are for children please stop stealing our crayons” she replied, ” Listen here missy don’t be tellin me what to do! besides you can afford to let me steal crayons” then she zipped up her giant purse and ran out of the restaurant. I was speechless.

-Samantha