Posts Tagged ‘opinion’

Am I the only waitress out there that gets irrationally pissed off when a party brings in a giant birthday cake and they don’t offer me a slice?

-Kelsi

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I had just made the rounds and was in the staff area, tidying and making sure my water pitchers were filled, and one of my coworkers (marked as JB) comes flying through the kitchen and collapses on one of the extra chairs we kept stacked there.

Now, JB was only seventeen at the time, and he was pretty new at waiting tables, and he was absolutely terrified, eyes wide, shaking like a leaf. I pour him a glass of water and ask him what the hell happened.

JB: “I was getting B7’s drink order from the bar, and one of the guests backed her chair right into me, and I dropped the whole thing on her and her fur coat.”

Me: “Please tell me it was white wine.”

JB: “All red. God, the floor manager is going to kill me. Can I hide here for a bit?”

I tell him to catch his breath and keep an eye on the lodge room for me, and I go to scope out the scene of the crime. I get halfway through the kitchen and I start to hear the screaming. Fur coat lady is kicking up such a fuss that the entire BOH has emptied and they’re furtively taking a look at the scene unfolding before them.

The floor manager is trying to calm her down, and figure out what to do. She’s screaming at him about how we’re going to have to pay for the cleaning, and she’s going to sue, and yadda yadda.

Floor Manager: “I’m terribly sorry this happened, but we are particularly busy tonight. Did our hostess not give you the option to check your coat?”

Fur coat lady: “Are you fucking retarded? I’m not going to trust my fur coat to a fucking (insert racial slur)

Floor manager: “Look lady, I saw you back your chair into JB, and now you’re admitting that you refused to check your coat. You can take your shit and get out of my dining room.”

The fur coat lady then throws her glass at the floor manager and stomps out screaming. JB was forgiven, and we never saw her again. From what I heard through the rumor mill, her club account got canceled and she’s forever blacklisted from the establishment.

-Alexis

I am pretty sure 75% of the waiting staff at my restaurant are going to be more drunk than their customers this Cinco de Mayo….

– James

Don’t mistake my perky waitress voice for me actually liking you….I get paid to deal with creeps like you!

– Laura

So this woman wanted a tuna sandwich. You know, everyday tuna on the bread with some vegetables. I scoop, I spread. Suddenly she flips her shit, waving her arms, pointing at the glass. Yeah, who knew drunken banshees loved tuna…in balls.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, she didn’t want her tuna spread like a normal human being would.

“I want my tuna in balls!” she cried. “In baaalllsss! That looks nasty, I don’t want it spread on dat bread. I want balls!”

And in the back of my head, dear readers, I think: You want a cucumber and a condom with that too?

-Var

Dear anyone that eats at a restaurant. I can not leave until you leave. Please don’t stay here for 5 hours. I do not get payed hourly and my shift ended 2 hours ago.

-Brittney

Of my 7ish table section I have the following:

A 2 top of foreigners who barely speak English let alone know what they ordered.
A 2 top at one of my 4 tops ( I have open 2s)
A 3 top of creepy inapporate rednecks
And a 6 top of children

Who wants to get a drink with me after work????

-Justene

Customer: “Are you guys closed?”

Me: (After locking the door, putting up the closed sign, and turning off the lights) “No we just like to sit in here with the lights off and the doors locked.”

-Dawn

Once a customer wrote ‘shit food chef’ incredibly neatly in the sauce on his plate. I was amazed at the detail and symmetry of his lettering.

-Robert

Totally forgot to put on deodorant today annnnnnd I am working a double.

-Amber