Posts Tagged ‘Revenge’

A guy came in to eat with his family (a little girl and his pregnant wife). They were really really friendly and at first I thought it was a great table. The wife went to the bathroom and the guy asked for the check, and on the check he wrote his phone number in the tip area along with “call me baby”. I ran his card, waited until his wife came back, and brought over the guy’s card and his receipt. I handed the receipt to the pregnant woman and told her something was wrong with the tip. She got SUPER upset and I got in a lot of trouble with my managers for stirring shit.


Worked at a Mexican place that gave free chips and salsa out. Lady’s meal arrives after she plowed through 3 bowls of salsa and 4 baskets of chips. She ordered cheese enchiladas. She see’s a piece of onion in the cheese, and demands we remake it.

I say no problem and have the chef remake it. When I drop it off she starts yelling about how she’s allergic to onions, and how stupid I am, and she’s also not paying. Once she shut up, I asked if I should call an ambulance because she just ate a ton of onions via the 3 bowls of salsa she had eaten. Back pedaling, she says she didn’t see any onions in there. I stand firm and ask her again if I should call 911 for an allergic reaction. I think she knew she was caught lying, and suddenly got quiet and was a little nicer.


Ooo…..pardon me….

Can you please escort these two ladies….back to plastic surgery

After paying with exact change a mother with 2 spoiled bratty kids thrusts a dollar bill at me and says, “thanks, you were so good with us.  take this,”  then shook the dollar under my nose. The paper touched my face (her bill was $107.65) . I said, “I am a waiter not a stripper, keep that dollar for later hun.” Then walked away. Got chewed out by my boss but it was worth it.

– Kyle

My absolute favorite customer smack down has to between a former boss lady and a crotchety fart stain of a customer* who tried to make a reservation a few weeks after leaving a $5 gratuity on a check for $102.

Boss: I’m surprised you’re calling to make a reservation. I thought you’d be calling to complain.

Jerk: No. Why would I complain? Everything was fantastic last time. I’m really excited to try your blah blah blah.

Boss: Well, in that case, I’m sorry but you are no longer welcome at our dinner service.

Jerk: What? Why?

Boss: Because you did not pay your bill in full last time.

Jerk: [yelling]

Boss: Leaving my girls $5 on a $102 tab is disgraceful. [hangs up]


Several years ago while working at an Italian restaurant a man came in and ordered a particular brand of scotch. I told him that I wasn’t sure if we had that particular scotch, but I would check. I also asked him if there was anything else he would like in the event that we did not have what he ordered. He said that he would like for me to go find the nearest rafter and hang myself if we didn’t have it. I immediately told him to get out of the restaurant and never come back. I said it with such force he got his shit and left real quick….It felt good to tell that asshole off.


I spat in my coworker drink while he was away. He was an asshole who was stealing my tips and my cigs out of my purse. I caught him twice.


I wish that I could tell these cheap ass people that the IRS assumes us servers make a certain amount in tips per hour and when they decide to stiff us we are being taxed on money we didn’t make. Plus we usually have to give money to support other staff members through tip shares!


I’m a server/bartender. It’s a busy night, most of my bar is full. I see a group of dudes staggering in, clearly quite hammered. They’re all wearing hockey jerseys so I assume victory drinks were being had or sorrows were being drowned. I refuse to serve them (not to be an asshole; we could lose our license if one of these idiots takes a sip and then cracks his head on the bar…) which doesn’t go down so well. After a few mandatory derogatory comments, the alpha tells me to kindly fuck myself and proceeds to grab an almost full pint from the nearest customer. Customer is protesting, alpha’s buddies are cheering. Unsurprisingly, alpha starts to chug.

People are beginning to notice the commotion, throwing disdainful looks in every direction, I step out to try and grab the glass. Alpha’s almost finished the entire drink as I’m reaching when suddenly his stomach decides to reject his offering. This champ fucking vomits most of the drink back up into the glass, attempts to place it on the bar and smashes it, sending shards of glass and second hand alcohol in every direction (the owner of the drink was absolutely covered in shit). This does nothing but delight the hockey fans and they grin and cheer, tell me how to avoid this situation in future and walk out, exchanging obligatory high fives. I close the bar and start driving home. On the way I see the Alpha handcuffed and bent over a cop car. Karma!