Posts Tagged ‘service industry’

This dude comes in to my bar, acting pretty normal. Two beers in, out of nowhere, he decides someone is going to shoot him and that someone is hiding in the bar. I’m assuming the shrooms hit or something. This guy backs up to the wall and starts screaming for everyone to back off. When the bouncer approaches, he starts screaming “YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME AREN’T YOU?!” On and on until finally, he just bolts out the front door at full speed. Assuming that was it, normal bar business resumes.

Then cops show up looking for the bouncer who “threatened to kill this man while brandishing a weapon.” Apparently this idiot ran down the road until he saw a cop car which he then jumped in front of while screaming “THEY’RE TRYING TO KILL ME!” So everyone explains to the cops that this guy has lost it and no one here has a gun, let alone is trying to kill him. The cops look at the bouncer and say “Are you on drugs?” “Umm no.” “Is he on drugs?” “Probably.” “Okay. Have a good one.” And that guy promptly went to jail.


A child puked all over his mom and the booth I was sitting in. Oh it was ripe! But what makes this memorable is a table got sat right next to the throw up booth and a giant grown man got a smell of the puke and instantly threw up too…..I spent the next 25 minutes cleaning up 2 piles of puke. I hate my job.


Don’t mistake my fake smile and professional body language as a sign of admiration…..seriously I would punch you straight in the throat if I knew that I wouldn’t loose my job.


Recently, the pub I work at has a new policy about not allowing dogs on the patio, all because of one major douchebag in particular.  It is a busy Sunday, serving mimosas to all of the drunk asses who wander up and down Belmont Shore California, when this fool’s dog just throws up twice on the patio.  I come out with my hands full with 4 schooners when this guy says, “Hey my dog just threw up and you should clean it up before someone steps in it.” … Sure, sir, let me get right on that for you… NOT. So I come out with a pitcher of water and hand it to the guy.  He scoffs and says, “You want me to clean this up? YOU work here.”  Just as I was about to body slam him (I wish) some meat head steps in the throw up, and starts getting heated.  Lucky for me, this meat head is a regular and also a bartender at another place on the street, and he made sure the guy clean up the puke on the ground… and his own feet :D


I’d bitch a lot less, and be a lot happier if you just let me drink on the fucking clock.

-Everyone in the service industry ever

Service industry gifs

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Server: Are you still enjoying your desserts or can I clear these for you?

Customer: Yes please. They’re so good. If I keep eating I’m gonna have to stop at a Lane Bryant on my way out of here


Is it bad that I can’t remember the last shift I worked that I wasn’t hungover?


Today is National Ranch Dressing Day. Every waiter and waitress cringes at the sight ranch dressing.

Even mentioning extra ranch in to someone in the food service industry inspires the image of a fat, needy patron sucking down diet coke and dripping cellulite all over the restaurant. I don’t know what the connection between loving ranch dressing and sucking at life is…but it exists and everyone here at BreakRoomStories thought it would be fun to devote today to shaming all those ranch guzzling douche-bags.

I lost it yesterday. I hated everything about my most recent serving position. Bad management, shitty tips, and tons of asshole customers. So when a snobby plastic bitch who is a well known shitty tipper gave me attitude yesterday I said this straight to her to her face

“Don’t ever treat people like you do and by the way you should have spent the money on your nose instead of your boobs.”

I quit that night and couldn’t be happier.